1. I wasn’t sure if I could write this blog post today because I don’t feel witty or wise or inspired. In fact, I feel… shut off.
2. I feel this pressure to always be happy, to always have answers, to always be there for everyone else.
3. Sometimes I’m not. Often I don’t. Sometimes I don’t even know how to hold myself up.
4. I feel this expectation to write something hilarious and wise and life changing.
5. “Life changing?! Wise? Hilarious?!! Really, Therese? Wow, you must really think highly of yourself to think your writing was ever that significant in the first place,” says some voice in my head.
6. Nowhere feels like home to me right now.
7. I guess that’s a really… lonely feeling.
8. I’m afraid to admit that I think I feel lonely right now.
9. I feel as if no one can ever understand me.
10. I feel like no one would even want to understand me.
11. I really hate how this list is jumping all over the place– I feel like it should be more organized.
12. I feel like I should be more organized.
13. I feel like I should be writing better stuff than this.
14. I feel like I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, dammit!
15. Sometimes it’s exhausting trying to write the perfect post.
16. There are children starving in Africa and I’m worried about writing the perfect post?! HOW DARE I!
17. I’m afraid of losing this newfound sense of self that I’ve found.
18. I’m afraid that maybe I’ve already lost it.
19. I’m afraid of letting people down.
20. I’m afraid of letting YOU down.
21. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!!!!
22. I’m afraid of people questioning my intent.
23. I’m afraid that one day The Unlost could turn into something I have to do instead of something I want to do. This thought terrifies me…
24. This thought terrifies me more than anything.
25. If this is my biggest fear, there must be something wrong with me.
26. I mean, I must be really weird for being so obsessed with this website-blog-thingymajig… whatever the heck it is.
27. If you can’t tell, I’ve been feeling insecure about a lot of things lately.
28. Mostly I’m feeling insecure about… feeling insecure.
29. I’m afraid of failing, but I’m not sure at what.
30. I’m afraid that I can’t. [Can't what??!]
31. I’m pretty sure that this is the worst blog post in the world.
32. But for some strange reason, I’M FEELING BETTER ALREADY!
33. In fact, I just realized that writing this list was actually REALLY FREEING!
35. All of the sudden I am LAUGHING!
36. Why? Because my list is so SERIOUS and ABSURD!
37. You know what, though? That’s OK.
38. And you know what? I am OK.
39. In fact, I’m more than OK… I am perfect.
40. I am perfectly imperfect just the way I am, in just the place I am, just the way I’m feeling right now.
41. Ohhhh, Self– you’re corny, but I luv you.
42. Blog post, I ♥ you, too.
43. In fact, you might be THE BEST BLOG POST YET!
44. Actually, no. You definitely aren’t the best. But you are the REALEST. You might even be the WEIRDEST (but that one’s a toss-up).
45. Why don’t we let the readers decide? Weirdest post ever??!
46. Also– if you’re feeling brave, leave your own honest thoughts below. They’re welcome here. YOU’RE welcome here. Always have been, always will be. ♥ ♥ ♥
47. HAPPY MONDAY, B*TCHES! MAY IT BE GLORIOUS!
[& If you're in Japan or somewhere, happy Tuesday ;-]
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[Image by M. Luchini]