47 Completely Honest, Raw, Unfiltered Thoughts

Posted by Therese on August 6, 2012 • 62 comments

47 Completely Honest, Raw, Unfiltered Thoughts

1. I wasn’t sure if I could write this blog post today because I don’t feel witty or wise or inspired. In fact, I feel… shut off.

2. I feel this pressure to always be happy, to always have answers, to always be there for everyone else.

3. Sometimes I’m not. Often I don’t. Sometimes I don’t even know how to hold myself up.

4. I feel this expectation to write something hilarious and wise and life changing.

5. “Life changing?! Wise? Hilarious?!! Really, Therese? Wow, you must really think highly of yourself to think your writing was ever that significant in the first place,” says some voice in my head.

6. Nowhere feels like home to me right now.

7. I guess that’s a really… lonely feeling.

8. I’m afraid to admit that I think I feel lonely right now.

9. I feel as if no one can ever understand me.

10. I feel like no one would even want to understand me.

11. I really hate how this list is jumping all over the place– I feel like it should be more organized.

12. I feel like I should be more organized.

13. I feel like I should be writing better stuff than this.

14. I feel like I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, dammit!

15. Sometimes it’s exhausting trying to write the perfect post.

16. There are children starving in Africa and I’m worried about writing the perfect post?! HOW DARE I!

17. I’m afraid of losing this newfound sense of self that I’ve found.

18. I’m afraid that maybe I’ve already lost it.

19. I’m afraid of letting people down.

20. I’m afraid of letting YOU down.

21. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!!!!

22. I’m afraid of people questioning my intent.

23. I’m afraid that one day The Unlost could turn into something I have to do instead of something I want to do. This thought terrifies me…

24. This thought terrifies me more than anything.

25. If this is my biggest fear, there must be something wrong with me.

26. I mean, I must be really weird for being so obsessed with this website-blog-thingymajig… whatever the heck it is.

27. If you can’t tell, I’ve been feeling insecure about a lot of things lately.

28. Mostly I’m feeling insecure about… feeling insecure.

29. I’m afraid of failing, but I’m not sure at what.

30. I’m afraid that I can’t. [Can't what??!]

31. I’m pretty sure that this is the worst blog post in the world.

32. But for some strange reason, I’M FEELING BETTER ALREADY!

33. In fact, I just realized that writing this list was actually REALLY FREEING!

34. AWESOME-AMAZE-SAUCE-BALLZ!

35. All of the sudden I am LAUGHING!

36. Why? Because my list is so SERIOUS and ABSURD!

37. You know what, though? That’s OK.

38. And you know what? I am OK.

39. In fact, I’m more than OK… I am perfect.

40. I am perfectly imperfect just the way I am, in just the place I am, just the way I’m feeling right now.

41. Ohhhh, Self– you’re corny, but I luv you.

42. Blog post, I ♥ you, too.

43. In fact, you might be THE BEST BLOG POST YET!

44. Actually, no. You definitely aren’t the best. But you are the REALEST. You might even be the WEIRDEST (but that one’s a toss-up).

45. Why don’t we let the readers decide? Weirdest post ever??!

46. Also– if you’re feeling brave, leave your own honest thoughts below. They’re welcome here. YOU’RE welcome here. Always have been, always will be. ♥ ♥ ♥

47. HAPPY MONDAY, B*TCHES! MAY IT BE GLORIOUS!

[& If you're in Japan or somewhere, happy Tuesday ;-]

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Chuck Stecker

Loved your list. Think about #29. “I’m afraid of failing, but I’m not sure at what.” Issue has been stated by others well before me. Restated – never be afraid of failing. Never focus on being successful at things that don’t matter. Failing is part of life. As John Maxwell wrote – Fail forward. Have a great Monday.
you are a blessing.
Your much older friend
Chuck

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Thank you so much, Chuck. So true about failing, and yet the fear is still there. It’s a part of life, though, and I know this. “Fail forward”– love it. Great to hear from you :].

LynzM

This was really cool to read. Honesty is powerful stuff, as is the vulnerability of putting your unfiltered self out there. You never know who’s going to connect with which bits. (((hugs))) for the nowhere-feels-like-home and the loneliness. Remember that the only constant in life is Change… :)

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Ahh, thanks, Ms Lynz. Appreciate the computer hugs… I can feel em!

xoxo

http://www.triplestrength.com/ Jason Beck

It can be pretty wonderfully awesome to be human and vulnerable.

I’ve been struggling the past month or two, and it seems extra frustrating because I feel like the first several months of this year, I was up, UP, *UP*!!!!

But the dirty secret there is that I was so down just before that. And then I kind of refocused and figured out more of what I value most and I spent more time on that and it felt like I could do nothing but grow and succeed.

But it turns out, I’m still human, and I have rough patches and struggles and failures. And if I didn’t have those… how could I go UP? It’s so hard to go up when you’re already there. Sometimes you just need to remember what all these challenging times look like.

And, as a bonus, you’re reminded of how you move through them. And you share that knowledge and wisdom with your loyal subjects. I mean followers.

So, for not having a perfect post today, you are awesome!

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Agreed, Jason, and such is life. Ups and downs and ups and downs are inevitable… and the bonus? Yep. I absolutely need those reminders.

Thank you for your comments and for your support of my imperfect post. I feel lucky to have you around :].

http://twitter.com/Marion_Au Marion Aubry

Your post is right on time! I realized this week, it’s ok to be imperfect, nobody is perfect, and actually would we want to be perfect? It’s our flaws, our imperfections that make us human beings, that give us the ability to feel compassion for others and to accept their own imperfections.
It’s also ok to recognize that sometimes we feel lonely and insecure. It doesn’t mean we are not happy overall.

Happy Monday!

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Absolutely, Marion.

To be human…

Cami Krueger

Sounds like the conversation in my head MOST of my life. I LOVE YOU!

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Hahaha thanks, Cami. I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!

http://journeyofasoulsearcher.blogspot.com/ Madison Sonnier

Sometimes I feel like my blog readers count on me to be wise and inspiring, and I feel like a let down when I’m NOT feeling wise or inspiring enough. But what I’ve learned is that people appreciate honesty too. Honesty shows your humanity. That’s one of my favorite things about your blog—You’re HONEST. And that’s why so many people can relate to you. :-)

I wish I was brave enough to list some of my own unfiltered thoughts here, but they’re really all over the place and chaotic right now, and I don’t want to look back in a few days and think, “WHY DID I WRITE THAT ON THE INTERNET?” Haha

But thank you for sharing! I love this.

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Thanks, Madi! My hope is to create a world where people can BE a little more honest, and where they can come to know that this is ok… that they are ok :].

No need to write your unfiltered thoughts on the internet if you don’t wanna ;-).

Luvs,

T

Noor Al Ansari

I am in control yet the sphere continues to roll with or without me
It sucks but the dinosaurs have left us
It is what it is so i’m gona make the most of it
Afterall superman is dragging time by his cape so waking up realizing we were wasting it in a dull black cloud feels heavy
Sulk, sink n slide down the spiral BUTT carry the cheese on your face and climb up surely but slowly to get to the top-
TOP TOP like UP and eventually we’ll all find our way if we put in enough effort in to.

Good luck to us all. Being stuck and lost feels ukkhhhh.

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Thanks for sharing, Noor

http://twitter.com/sarahemily Sarah Goshman

So what I hear you saying is…

;-) Yeah, I think we all go through these lists. Mine would end up being a blog post of its own if I tried to leave it in your comment section, but suffice it to say that 2, 4, 5, 8, 9, 10, 13, 14, 15, 16, 19, 21, 22 would be on it to start with.

Sending love and reflections. ;-)

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Thanks lady. REFLECTIONSSSS AHHHH (needs me some…)!

http://www.ShowandTellStories.com/ Monica McCarthy

I heart you. The End.

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Aw… thanks Miss M. This just brought a little bit of cheer into my Monday. Heart you too. <3

liz

“If this is my biggest fear, there must be something wrong with me.” If this is your biggest fear there must be something awesome with you! When you have so much abundance.. it’s easy to look at the 3 worries and focus on them. Just means it’s time to let go and go for a walk. Eat something delicious.

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

“Eat something delicious,” hahah. Best thing I’ve heard all day!

Thanks Liz! <3

http://www.facebook.com/people/Bianca-Cintron/827147759 Bianca Cintron

I’ve got a lot of change happening in my world… and my brain does stuff like this every day. You’re not alone. *hugs!*

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

I think all our brains do a little something like this every day. Thanks for the hugs, and right back atcha.

xoxoxo

Tracey Radabaugh

HAHA! This made me laugh so hard cause I feel like this all the time! I go from thinking terrible things about me or where I am in life to realizing that it could be so much worse and my life and me are exactly who they should be! Love it!

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

YEAH it’s like this never ending rollercoaster of life! Might as well ride it (what else would ya do, right?!!)

http://www.ownawesome.com/ Kristalina

You know what… You are perfect and so was your post – Ahh Tree, you’re like a breath of fresh air and I love you for that <3 Keep on Keepin' on friend, you're amazing!

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Ohhh lady K, thanks friend. Love you!

http://twitter.com/downfromtheledg downfromtheledge

If you were perfect and infallable we would probably hate you. Okay, we wouldn’t…but I think admitting to ourselves when we are pretending is the only way to keep from becoming something we really don’t want to be. Life is not static…we no more gain happiness-security-love than lose it.

Giving to everyone and having no one give back can feel like a really lonely place.

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

“Admitting to ourselves when we are pretending is the only way to keep from becoming something we really don’t want to be.” Yes, yes, yes… I’m really afraid of becoming someone I don’t want to be…

Thing is, I know I am lucky to have people who support me and are willing to give. Sometimes I feel lonely nevertheless (and feel as if I shouldn’t feel this way)…

xo

http://www.buenosairesorbust.com/ Amber

“No where feels like home to me right now. And that’s a really lonely feeling.” Funny (or so sad?), YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this feeling! I’ve been having this mental crisis for all of 2012 at this point. Then today, I was completing a survey for a fellow travel blogger. One of the questions was… ” Where do you consider home?”. Rather than lose my sh*t I chose C) Inside my mind.

Besos,
Amber
http://www.BuenosAiresOrBust.com

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Hey Amber,

At one point I wrote, “I’ll dance with the knowing that I have no place to call home and yet my home is in all places…”

Sometimes that feels true, and at other times, not so much.

Sending hugs to you– xoxoxo

joshlipo

Freaking loved this, Therese. I like how poetically they flowed, just like a stream of consciousness. Especially

“16. There are children starving in Africa and I’m worried about writing the perfect post?! HOW DARE I!”

That twinge of guilt…..

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Thx J.

It WAS a stream of consciousness, although I reserve the right to debate their “poeticness” ;-P.

http://twitter.com/kristendynamite kristendynamite

To recognize how you feel (angry, embarassed, sad), and allow yourself to feel it – without judgement – must be one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Thanks for sharing the authentic you, and your feeling of loneliness, because it encourages me to keep being my perfectly imperfect self :)
http://twitter.com/kristendynamite kristendynamite

To recognize how you feel (angry, embarassed, sad), and allow yourself to feel it – without judgement – must be one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Thanks for sharing the authentic you, and your feeling of loneliness, because it encourages me to keep being my perfectly imperfect self :)

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Thank you for this, Kristen. And agreed– this is the BEST gift you can give yourself (or anyone else).

:]

http://laksays.blogspot.com/ Lakshpri_mgm

Well, I feel all the things in your post now and then, too. Although I don’t post frequently and consistently on my blog, the questioning of my worth as a writer and blogger (and other areas of life as well) does arise from time to time. The fact that it is not a focused blog, talking about specific subjects, only makes it harder.

Loneliness and self-criticism, especially “others have it much worse”, that is something I can empathize with. And comparing our misery to other people’s just adds to the pressure to feel happier and better, be thankful, etc.

Cheer up! You have touched people’s lives otherwise they would not be bothering to comment.

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Yep, we’re all in it together… this weird thing called life :).

Thanks for your words, Ms!

Maggie Broderick

I think we often put the most pressure on ourselves, but we really should not be so unrealistic or demanding on ourselves. We have to each find our own balance between motivation and criticism. I think it’s great that you (you, me, everyone…) takes a step back every so often to just stop thinking. At least for me, my thoughts race all of the time, and when I finally in find a way to quiet the noise, I start to feel better.

Thanks for sharing every week :)

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Very true. Thanks for your comment, Maggie :]

Tria

As always, right on point. It doesn’t matter what you write, Therese, because it’s all so you and so perfect because of that simple fact.

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

And THIS is the learning of my life… of all our lives :-].

Thanks, Tria.

Van

I’m impressed :)
Loving it.

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Wow, someone is actually impressed with my imperfection! :-p

That’s a nice feeling to have.

Thanks Van.

Shimona

Besides the blog-specific posts, this could have been a list written by me on some days
it was definitely the ‘realest blog post, it’s great that you had the confidence to post this, you get mad props for that!!

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Not sure if I’d call it confidence, but courage? Yes, absolutely. Thanks for the props, Shimona!

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

http://furtherbound.com/ Hannah

I love you T :)

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

I love you too, H! <3

Jeremy or IHeartTravel

I actually love this post a lot! I mean a lot a lot, it’s real, those always tend to be great anyways!!

Reading a blog is like tapping into someones mind, and this list is most definitely that, it’s weird but in a cool way.

Anyways time for my vulnerability. I feel unattractive at times. I feel like I have no chance at a relationship again (or women for that matter). These and many things circle my mind from time to time. However I turn the tide & think of all the good things going on around me, and then I’m like..”B#@$, snap out of it…let’s go to a salsa club & boogey”

Usually that fixes it : )

Love the post Therese

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Ahahahaha, the last sentence about going to a salsa club made me crack up I LOVE IT!

Thanks for sharing your vulnerabilities too, J… (I hope you know you’re crazy, though! ;)

http://www.30yearoldninja.com/ Izmael Arkin

Since you dared to share your honest thoughts with the world and you gave a shout out to Japan I have to respond :).

So, as you know I just moved to Kyoto. I want to be a ninja. I am getting closer, but still far from it. It looks like I have found part time work, I have a place to live, and I found a dojo to train. And with all of this, I have moments of fear, of insecurity.

When I lived in the countryside of Japan, I could “talk” about the next steps. Now, I am living that next step.

I believe a dream is not a destination but a constant evolution. So now I know, I have to take it all to the next level. What does this mean? Right now, I don’t exactly know. I know it will require more work, more focus, a deeper commitment. Am I ready? I hope so :). I think so.

I am trying to learn to embrace the mystery of life. It is a beautiful thing if we can learn to sit with it :).

Oh yes and I also must comment regarding the following quote:

“AWESOME-AMAZE-SAUCE-BALLZ! ”

… The image that immediately popped in my head after I read this was not pleasant- I’ll just leave it at that :).

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Izzy, you are wonderful! And FYI, I couldn’t be prouder of you for living that next step. Learning to sit with the mystery of life is the learning and relearning and relearning of my life!

Hahaha eww, yeah I guess AWESOME-AMAZE-SAUCE-BALLZ really doesn’t leave a wonderful image now that I think about it… :-/

Stephanie

Therese I love this! Glad to see I’m not the only one whose brain jumps from thought to thought and one insecure emotion to the next in a split second. Just last night I was thinking to myself “HOLY HORMONES”…wth are you doing to me?!?! As usual…just. perfect.

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Stephanie, I’m glad to see your comment and know that I’M not the only one, either!!

xoxo

http://www.facebook.com/ttalisa Tanya Talisa

i was totally feeling like this on Monday !! thanks for keepin it real sista !

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Good, we can feel redonkulously crazy together! :-p

http://twitter.com/ScarletWLand Scarlett Wonderland

I love this – so honest and it made ME feel amazeballs too! xxx

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

GLAD it made you feel amazeballs! :)

http://twitter.com/nochnoch Noch Noch

feel same sometimes…
Noch Noch
http://www.TheBrighterSideofLife.ca/ Christine Callahan-Oke

*sigh*

Just read this post. Not weird, AWESOME! I sigh, though, b/c it really hits home. Especially numbers 2, 3, 9, 10 and 17 (!!).

And… in the spirit of freeing ourselves through honesty, here are some other things I’m afraid of:
- looking (i.e. sounding) stupid
- embarking on really meaningful work but then not being able to earn a living at it, therefore needing to spend energy on non-fulfilling work to bring in an income.

Thankfully!, deep down I know that although these fears will continue to spring up, I just have to push through them…

http://www.theunlost.com Therese

Thanks for sharing, Christine… & YEP, for stuff like this to spring up is simply to be human.

<3 you!

Alex

Are you single? Haha this is great stuff! I hope I can be as cool as you one day.
Guy

Interesting, try to read what you wrote and think about it. Almost every point is “afraid”, you are afraid. Afraid of what? Afraid of failure, failure is just first step in knowing. You are so far in your journey, yet at the beggining, you cant cope with fear. You know this fear is irrational, you know this fear doesnt exist yet you think about it. Everyone thinks about fear but I think you are still afraid. Just relax, open yourself to the world and everything will fade. The truth is that the only fear we really have is of unknown, everything is based on unknown, why dont you just relax and let the world do its thing. You know deep in your heart that everything will always be ok, what is the worst thing you loose? Your life? Death is just another form of life, its just another stage of your life, you know soul is immortal. You just have nothing to loose, nothing, only your soul worth, but you know you wont loose it until you choose wrong, you know when the fork will come into your life, you know what is the right decision you know what is wrong, you know when the decision doesnt matter, that its just what you want. We humans are imperfect, but trough imperfection we are perfect, if we werent imperfect we would be doing things perfectly and what would our purpose be then? Perfection is ungainable goal, because we already have it, we are perfect. You cannot gain something you already have. So just relax and enjoy the ride called life, do what you want, fuffill your mission here and gain those valuable experiences.