Answers are Overrated

What if the answers–

What if the answers are overrated?

* * *

I peer over my dashboard at the vast landscape in front of me.

“What am I doing here?”

I’ve left my job.

I’ve left my home.

I’ve left the life I once knew–

for what?

Yesterday it was all clear.

Yesterday it all

made

sense.

Today I am lost, drifting aimlessly in a sea of confusion.

“Who am I?”

“Where am I?”

“What am I doing here?”

Nothing–

Nothing makes sense anymore.

I feel

like

driftwood,

as if I’ve gone upstairs for something important,

and the second I get there I find that

I’ve completely forgetten what I set out to do.

Panic.

Fear.

Chaos.

Crazybrain.

“How do I get out?”

I think.

And I think.

And I

t

h

i

n

k

.

And the more I think, the more I spiral into

despair.

And the more I grasp for the answers,

the further I

f

a

l

l

.

* * *

What if the only answer we need–

isn’t an answer at all?

* * *

And suddenly I find myself singing,

humming,

smiling softly.

“When I find myself in times of trouble,

Mother Mary comes to me,

speaking words of wisdom,

let it be…

And in my hour of darkness

she is

standing right in front of me,

speaking words of wisdom,

let it be…

Let it be, let it be,

Let it be,

Let it be…

There will be an answer,

Let it be…”

And it just

feels

right.

“Let it be,”

I say.

“Let it be.”

But still my brain

thrashes.

It searches.

It struggles.

“But

How?”

“How do I let it be?”

Panic.

Fear.

Chaos.

Crazybrain.

And I find myself laughing,

smiling–

kindly,

gently,

wisely,

at

My

Self.

“Oh, Little One–

Oh, Sweet Honey Child–

Let that question be, too.”

And in this moment,

somehow this nonsense

makes

perfect

sense.

* * *

Could it be?

Could there be an Answerless Answer?

A Struggleless Struggle?

When you don’t know how to let it be,

when you can’t let it be,

can you let that be?

When there’s no resting place in sight,

can

you

rest?

When there’s no breathing room,

can

you

just

breathe?

When nothing within you can trust,

can

you

just

trust?

When there are no answers,

could the answer be

just to let that question be?

# # #

Curious about my travels? I’ve posted an unofficial schedule here.

[Image by Salim Photography]

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