Why It’s OK to be Lost And Confused

on June 12, 2011 | in Life in General | by

questions ahead

In the fall of 2007, I was confused as hell.

I had recently graduated from college but still had no clue what I wanted to “be when I grew up.” I’d jumped from mediocre job to mediocre job… from a psychosocial therapist to an insurance salesperson to a nanny to a cocktail waitress to a retail manager.

After years of having been in a steady relationship, I suddenly found myself single and bombarded by d-bag after d-bag… each of whom I seemed to fall for.

And to top it all off, I had no established hobbies or interests aside from partying and trying to impress said d-bags.

To say that I was lost would be an understatement. I had no clue who I was and I had no clue what I wanted from life— all I knew was that it sure as heck wasn’t this.

So what do you do when you’re lost and confused?

Conventional wisdom would say, “Think hard and figure your sh** out at all costs.”

Instead, I did the opposite— I dropped the exhausting notion that I had to have it all figured out, and I dove head first into the deep waters of uncertainty.

I quit my job, applied for a year-long foreign work visa, and bought a one-way plane ticket to Australia. In January of 2008, I left the country without an inkling of a plan.

Today I’m going to tell you why this was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Against every bit of advice that’s ever been thrown at you, today I’ll propose a strange notion: that maybe it’s ok (in fact, maybe it’s more than ok) to not have it all figured out. In fact, maybe you’re here to learn just one thing: to embrace the mystery, the uncertainty, that is life. And perhaps the more that you learn to rest in this uncertainty, the closer you end up to those answers you were seeking in the first place.

START BY ASKING THESE TWO QUESTIONS

Before I made my decision to leave the country, I asked myself two simple questions that flipped my world upside down in an instant. When you’re deeply uncertain about life, these are the questions that it might behoove you to ask. The first question is simply this: what’s the worst that could happen if you let go of needing to know all the answers?

1.  WHAT’S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?

What’s the worst that could happen if you let go of needing to know all the answers? As humans, we have a strange compulsion to figure everything out and to turn unpredictability into certainty. I wanted the answers to come to me like a flash of lightning. I imagined that this was how life worked; that I couldn’t be happy until I had every detail of my life squared away. I wanted to know what my “calling” was and who my soulmate was and where to find happiness and when life would finally make sense. I wanted to know who the heck I was.

But why this strange compulsion to know, to be certain? What would happen if I just stopped needing to know all the answers?

I asked myself this question and the only answer I could think of was this: the worst that could happen is that I won’t have it all figured out.

I thought about it for a few minutes more and came up with a few more blurbs:

The worst that could happen is that I’ll be 30 or 40 or 50 and I still won’t have it all figured out.

The worst that could happen is that I’ll never have it all figured out.

The worst that could happen is that everyone will think I’m some wandering, aimless, blob-of-a-person.

The worst that could happen is that I’ll end up lost in a sea of uncertainty and perceived judgment.

And then I thought, “Wait… that’s it?”

“Aren’t I lost in that sea already?”

And so I decided, well hey, I might as well be where I’m already at.

After all, my life wasn’t going to end if I didn’t know all the answers. I wasn’t going to fall off the edge of the earth or get eaten by a pack of bloodthirsty wolves. My Myspace page wasn’t going to get unexpectedly deleted. (Yes; I said Myspace.)

The only thing that would happen is that I wouldn’t have it all figured out—which I already didn’t anyhow.

Ask yourself this question today and see if it shifts your perspective on things.

2. IS LIFE EVER CERTAIN?

The second question to ask yourself is this: can life ever be certain?

Is it even possible to have it all figured out? Does such a thing even exist?

If you find a calling or a career that you really love, who’s to say that your calling won’t change (or that it shouldn’t change)? Who’s to say that your path won’t evolve or that you won’t wake up one day without a job?

If you’ve found your lifetime love and your soulmate, who’s to say that your feelings won’t change or that this person will always feel the same way? Who’s to say that you might not lose that person someday?

Not to be depressing, but life is %&$ing weird, guys.

Who’s to say that any single thing in your life might not change in an instant?

Maybe life is a never-ending mystery, and your only job is to learn to be ok with that. It doesn’t have to be a scary thing; instead, it can be freeing. Once you can learn to trust and to feel safe within this blanket of a universe, then you no longer need to cling to a certainty that just doesn’t exist. You can rest in the questions; you can live in the bittersweet mystery.

HOW THE STORY ENDS

So did I come back from Australia knowing what I was meant to do with my life?

Nope. I came back from Australia just as confused as I had been when I left. I got a second college degree and I found a job and I bought a house, simply because I didn’t really know what else to do. And although I wasn’t wandering aimlessly as I had been before, I still felt lost.

But just as I had done before, I gave myself permission to feel this way. I learned to embrace the uncertainty and to live in it until it was no longer an enemy, but an awkward sort of friend (you know, the kind who stays at the party far longer than you want her to… but oh well). I learned to rest in the open-ended question that is life and to let myself steep in the mystery and the wonder of it all. Above all, I learned to trust.

Three years after my return home, I still rest in that open-ended question. I go to work every day and I still feel as if this isn’t quite it. After a 2 ½ year relationship, I find myself back at square one once again. I wonder if I am meant to live in this house or to travel the world; I wonder if I will ever find the right person or the right job (or if such a thing even exists). I still have no effing clue where my life is headed.

But at the same time, I have things figured out more than I ever have before. I’ve learned to look less to others for definition and more to myself. D-bags be forewarned: I no longer need your attention to feel like I’m somebody. For the first time in my life, I’d rather be alone than be untrue to myself.

When people ask me about my hobbies and my passions, they are no longer greeted with the blank stare of a girl who spends all her free time at the bars. Instead, my answer is simple: I love to create; I love to write; I love the strange feeling of connecting to people through something as simple as words on a page. This right here is what I love to do, and I’m doing it. So what if it’s not how I make a living— still, I am doing it.

Every day I am crumbling more apart and yet falling more together all at the same time.

I think that you’ll find the same thing to be true for yourself, if only you can remember one simple thing: it’s ok to be lost. It’s ok to let go of needing all the answers. It’s not going to kill you— in fact, it just might bring you to life.

# # #

[Image credit: milos milosevic]

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  • Wade

    Great post!

    • therese

      Thanks, Wader-tot :)

  • Tracey

    This is one of your best post yet! It really helps calm the nerves to know that other people have anxiety about life and where they are headed cause I feel that way all the time…Completely and uderly lost….Wondering if I have made the right decisions or if I totally screwed my life up…

    • therese

      Thanks Trace… you are exactly where you’re supposed to be, and it’s ok to be lost… just trust that everything’s going to be ok in the end (it will be).

  • http://nellsdish.com Nell

    Great post! I am in my early 30’s and am STILL going through this… most of the time it’s a fun adventure but every so often I have a freakout and feel like a flighty ADD person who can’t focus and will never figure out my true calling. Though I’m finding that as long as I keep pushing myself and learning new things and gaining skills & experiences… I’m generally pleased overall with my progress and I just try to maintain the calm and go along for the ride. I assume things will continue to clarify as I keep growing and learning. Thanks for sharing!

    • therese

      Hi Nell… you are definitely not alone in that feeling! “Just try to maintain the calm and go along for the ride”… I think that is exactly the right stance to take. Things WILL continue to clarify as you keep growing and learning, but it’s always a journey as you know ;)

  • http://www.experimentswithagile.com Sid

    Awesome post! #winning

  • http://lookingtothesky.com Jason

    I really enjoyed your post Therese. Really got me thinking about making the best of my situation I am in and to stop bitching all the time. Life throws crazy things at us, and we just need to take the time to find the positive.

    Thanks.

    • therese

      Hey Jason, life does throw crazy things at us… that’s just the way life is ;) I have no doubt that you’ll find your way through whatever situation you’re in and that you’ll come out better on the other side. Great to hear from you :)

  • http://www.innaaizenshtein.com/inna inna

    “The worst that could happen is that I’ll end up lost in a sea of uncertainty and perceived judgment.”
    it’s so funny, this does seems like the worst thing, doesn’t it… and when you put it that way, maybe it’s NOT that big of a deal.
    people think i’m already kind of weird, what’s one more thing? what more could they possibly say?

    i once watched this video of a guy talking about how he would rather work at mcDonalds than his day job, but was afraid to leave his established position because of what his family might think.

    thank you for asking the questions, and sharing them here. i think we all have to remember to take the next step, and disregard the voices in the back of the head :)

    what is the BEST that could happen?

    • therese

      :-D Yep Inna, it’s an extremely freeing feeling when you’re able to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks about you. The funny thing is, they probably aren’t even thinking about what you’re doing NEARLY as much as you imagine that they might be.

      Speaking of not caring what people think, you should check out this post by Julien Smith, aptly entitled “The Complete Guide to Not Giving a Fuck:” http://inoveryourhead.net/the-complete-guide-to-not-giving-a-fuck/

      One of the many great lines from this post: “As I walked by people in my techno-clown outfit, not a single person looked at me. Nobody cared, and it slowly dawned on me that even if people did look at me weird, they just walked by. Later, they would forget about me entirely.”

      Haha. People really don’t care as much as you imagine that they do, so just go on and do your thing! :)

      And YES, what is the BEST that could happen… LOVE IT!

      • http://www.innaaizenshtein.com/inna inna

        holy crap! best link ever! amazing. thanks darlin’

  • michelle

    This speaks to me very directly today, for what I’m going through. Thank you, Therese!

    • therese

      I’m so glad, Michelle!

  • Vanessa King

    Great post, especially if you’re young, single and childless. You can afford to take a risk and let it all go when there’s no-one depending on you, but if you have to keep a roof over your kids’ heads and you have to make sure there’s enough food to fuel their voracious appetites, the idea of letting it all go and seeing what happens becomes a bit impractical. Don’t get me wrong, I love the sentiment. I wish I could let it go and not worry. I don’t care what other people think of me (other than my kids of course) but I can’t just sit back and say it’s okay if I don’t know the answer to how I’m going to earn money. I’ve done the one-way ticket to a new country, did it with my ex and our daughter. Now I have three kids, I’m divorced and a long way from home. My ex is a good man, but somehow I have to figure out what I’m going to do with my life and sitting back and saying it doesn’t matter if I haven’t got all the answers isn’t going to make it happen. I’m told the paradox is if you let it go, that’s when it comes to you. How can you want something so badly it doesn’t matter if you don’t get it? Surely if it doesn’t matter if you don’t get it you didn’t really want it in the first place?

    I think I need to write my blog about this today *lol* Thanks for the inspiration ;-)

    • Star Star

      Vanessa. I realize you wrote this two years ago, but I’m going through something similar. I’m living abroad with two kids and my husband but can’t make full time work and day care work. We live off of my husbands pittance and I feel so stuck. Even if I just want to say, screw it lets just go back to our home country and start over we would go broke on plane tickets alone. Bottom line, kids are EXPENSIVE and need consistency.

      Where are you at in life now?

  • therese

    Hi Vanessa, it’s not that it doesn’t matter… you never stop asking the questions and you never stop searching or wanting to figure it out… it’s just that you learn to be OK with that wanting and with that searching. You can learn to be OK with not knowing the answers even as you search for them, and even though it isn’t the most comfortable feeling to sit with.

    And certainly letting go doesn’t mean that you sit back and do nothing. It doesn’t mean that you have to drop everything and leave the country like I did (of course this wouldn’t be practical under certain situations). You do the best you can with the answers you have at the time,while still realizing that you’re lost and confused and that maybe you’re not exactly where you want to be yet.

    For example, ever since I’ve come back home I’ve been working at a steady job and making money, even though I’m not quite sure it’s where I’m meant to be and even though I am still wondering about my path. I do the best I can with the answers I have now, I do what I need to do right now (just as you do when you take care of your children), and yet at the same time I allow myself to be just as confused as I am about where my life is going.

    What else can you really do? If you’re lost either way, then you can either struggle against it or you can “let it in” while it’s here.

    Hopefully this helps. Good luck on your path; I wish you the best!

  • http://www.rentingoutrooms.com Mike

    Great write up! Despite the fact we had some lengthly conversations at the WDS, I didn’t know you left it all and went to Australia. I’m really looking forward to doing an adventure like that myself.

    • therese

      Do it, Mike! You should definitely go on a grand adventure. Great meeting you :)

  • *

    I love this post and think your points are so valid and worth implementing. So… what if you are feeling desperate to find your calling in order to get out of a job that drains every good thing from you on a daily basis? How is it possible to let that “be” when it takes so much away but when there are bills still to be paid?

    I’d love your thoughts on this. :)

    • therese

      Good question– this is probably one of the hardest things to understand. Here’s the thing: you don’t necessarily have to let your crappy job “be”– you just have to let your feeling of confusion be. The two things are COMPLETELY separate. You can (and probably should) leave your job for something else; you can continue to search and wonder and question; you can take the path that makes the most sense for you right now (even though your understanding is limited right now), AND AT THE SAME TIME YOU CAN STILL LEARN TO BE OK WITH YOUR CONFUSION. You do the best you can with the limited answers you have right now.

      Like I wrote to Vanessa above, letting go doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to sit back and do nothing. By all means, try to get out of a situation that is making you miserable. By all means, keep asking questions and searching!! At the same time, you can learn to let go of your need for the answers to come right now.

      You do the best you can with the answers you have at the time,while still realizing that you’re lost and confused and that maybe you’re not exactly where you want to be yet.

      Learning to be OK with being lost and learning to let go of needing all the answers does NOT have to be synonymous with sitting back and doing nothing. You can let go and “be” while taking action at the same time.

      Becoming unlost and knowing all the answers is not a definite endpoint. I’m sure you’ve heard this: “it’s a journey, not a destination.” The further you walk along the path and the more you can learn to let go, the clearer the answers become (although it often happens gradually over years and years!). And the thing is, you will never get to the “final” point of knowing, althought you will certainly get closer and closer. All of life is a continuous journey of learning to accept the fact that things will never be 100% certain, and that’s ok.

      Does this make sense? I hope this helped. I will try to do a follow up post on this to explain it more thoroughly. Feel free to e-mail me or leave another comment and let me know if it helped at all :)

  • Catherine

    Wow. Loved this post. I found you from a comment on a Tiny Buddha post, and now must subscribe. Your writing is authentic and funny and insightful. As a recovering control freak, accepting uncertainty is a little issue of mine. Loved this line: “Every day I am crumbling more apart and yet falling more together all at the same time.”

    Thank you.

    • therese

      Thank you Catherine. And… I think that accepting uncertainty is an issue that everyone can relate to, so you’re certainly not alone :)

  • http://ariellabaston.com Ariella

    “Every day I am crumbling more apart and yet falling more together all at the same time.”

    This is the main truth of recent works by Neale Walsch (When everything changes, change everything) and Pema Chödron (Wisdom of no escape.)

    Sometimes you need to fall apart so things can finally fall together. :)

    My life has had many of these moments and they go the most smoothly (not to mention dazzle me the most) when I accept, and trust that it’s ok not to know. What happens next is always greater than our original planned/controlled imagining. The universe just knows better and if we give it time, the
    good stuff shows up.

    Be in this world (work, eat, love, play), but not OF this world.

    • therese

      “What happens next is always greater than our original planned/controlled imagining. The universe just knows better and if we give it time, the good stuff shows up.”

      Very true, Ariella!

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  • Margaret

    Thank you SO much for writing this- Im in tears right now. This was just what I needed. You have no idea how much I needed to hear words like that! I just graduated from college a few months ago and I’ve definitely needed to ask myself, “What’s the worst that could happen if I let go of needing to know all the answers?” but haven’t yet had the courage.
    Thank you so much for this fresh breath of air in my confused mind.

    • therese

      Wow… thank you, Margaret. It’s a hard thing to do, to let go of needing all the answers. But the truth is that no matter what, you can NEVER know all the answers, anyhow. It’s just not possible. Learning to be OK with that is one of the hardest things we can do sometimes… but ironically, once we are able to let go, we actually find more peace of mind & clarity. I’m glad that you could resonate with this one :)

  • http://thegetalifeproject.wordpress.com Allison Rivers

    What a comfort to read this. You’ve managed to put into words the struggle that I’m going through right now–that tug-of-war between being what’s expected of me and just being where I am in life right now. Thanks for this!

    • therese

      Thanks, Allison. Glad you could relate.

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  • http://breakingnorms.wordpress.com Ben

    This is a fantastic post. I think there’s a lot of merit to letting people come to terms with the fact that they are lost and confused. After all, it’s only when we realize the reality that we’ve contrived that we can actually change it. Too many people roam the sea their whole lives without ever knowing they were going in circles the entire time. Lookin forward to following your blog!

    • therese

      “It’s only when we realize the reality that we’ve contrived that we can actually change it.” Absolutely, Ben… only when we realize it & accept it can we take steps to change it :)

  • Evert Preza

    I am so glad I found your blog.

    I am in a state where I am so lost with my life. I don’t even know what I am pursuing. I am just driven to do what pleases the general people. I am stuck to do what others expect me to do. Sure, I make them happy but then I am left with a big gaping wide hole in me. I always tell myself there is got to be a way to make both sides happy, not just them.

    I am an accountant myself and I just don’t simply enjoy it now. I am thinking of changing careers, but I can’t tell what to pursue. I feel like I am in a feet-wide island left stuck and standing alone.

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      Evert, I’ve had thoughts and feelings similar to every. single. thing you just wrote — which means you’ve come to the right place :)

      You are not alone at all, and you know what? I have no doubt that you’ll find your way, but it starts from the place you’re at right now. Stay strong… xoxoxo

    • Suzanne

      this is me speaking

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  • JM

    Hey Therese,
    Love your blog and your ideas. :) The one thing I want to offer a different perspective on is that going away to a different place is necessarily a good idea or will change anything. I say this as someone who longed to have a grand adventure and so recently went off to spend a year in Europe. What did I learn from this experience? That, while you can be exposed to new languages and meet new people through travel, it’s kind of the same deal everywhere: people go to work, they come home; they’re looking for love, they’re looking for happiness. You’re actually not missing out as much as you think you are by not going abroad, and honestly, the cost and bureaucratic loopholes are both very extensive and very stressful. I found that through it all, I barely had time for any chilling out or soul-searching.

    I guess my two cents is that if you’ve wanted to travel your whole life and won’t be happy if you don’t do it, then by all means, go for it. However, I think a lot of people need to realize that not only will travel not solve their confusion, it also probably won’t make it easier to bear or make them happier in any way. I say if you want to explore new relationships or alternate ways of making a living, think about the fact that you can do that anywhere, including at home, where you hopefully have the emotional support of family and friends – and all your legal documents. :)

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      I agree, JM! Travel is only one option, and it can’t be counted on to give you “the answer” or “happiness” (but then again, neither can anything else give you these things). And in fact, this is what I found out after I arrived back home– I was still just as confused as when I’d left.

      No matter WHAT you’re doing and whether you’re traveling or not, can you give yourself permission not to know and to rest in the uncertainty? That’s what this post is all about! ;-)

      • JM

        I agree, guess I just wanted to encourage people not to run off somewhere because they fear the judgment of those close to them at home if they quit their crappy job or something and then just stay put. You can take a know-staycation (it’ll catch on) because those who really have your best interests at heart will stick with you.

    • Jeremy

      I do agree. Keeping ourselves away from the place where we are used to is not the only solution to solve our confusion. Keep your mind fresh and new to the whole world. A good attitude would change the situation where you are trapped it .

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  • Sulthana

    Loved this post! Feel like it was written for me – been feeling lost, confused and restless about everything in my life. Thanks for sharing!

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      ‘Twas written for you! :-P

  • michellelynn01

    First off I have to say I am so grateful to have found your blog. For a long time I have been feeling so inadequate as if I failed in life. After I graduated college, it seems the rest of my peers knew exactly what they wanted to do and here I am being made fun of for being lost and confused as to what to do next. I am so sick and tired of hearing people say just do what you’re passionate about, but that is my problem: I simply don’t know what I’m passionate about. I love doing so many things. Sometimes I go to sleep crying at night because during family gatherings my parents always speak highly of my brothers the mechanical engineer, the computer engineer, and when asked about me they say oh she’s well I really don’t know what she’s doing. Secretly, I’d love to start a business be an entrepreneur take risks and travel but others tell me I should be something specific like a lawyer, accountant, nurse, doctor, etc…and I end up in the same place. Lost and confused. You’re blogs are helping me though. Please keep them up :)

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      Michelle, the most successful thing you can ever “do” or “become” in this lifetime is simply… yourself. Your beautiful self. We’re all here for ya– you aren’t alone. And the “shoulds” are a myth ;-). Thank you for your words.

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  • teresita from downunder

    Here is the answer know who you are and not why you are this will lead you to your purpose in life. You need not be lost forever for then you would have found life.FIAT

  • 3rd world J

    I´m new to this page and it´s a relief to see someone have a vague idea rather than a flash of inspiration brought forth by positive thinking or religious views. I too went to Australia in search of answers and came back with nothing really, except having experienced how going to the other side of the planet won´t change things by itself. I´ve also started to get used to the idea of being lost and I hope it´s not a bad type of contentment.
    This is pretty obvious stuff, I guess my two cents are the following: 1) I tried meditation and hoped some sort of revelation would come to me (I accept how naive that is) and the closest I came to such a thing is being aware of how much we actually suffer due to other´s opinions of us, but worse yet, how these imaginary opinions can really make life unbearable. I guess I don´t feel strongly about what we leave behind in this life, perhaps the fleeting moments of compassion and connectedness are what gives our life some sort of meaning, whatever we leave behing shall be washed by the sea. 2) There is so much suffering in this world, I am from a third world country, although priviledged enough to have dealt with “first world problems”. Living in Australia I realized that our role in global inequality is a factor which ultimately will have a determinig role in finding our true path. I was going insane thinking about the stark contrast between where I´m from and how things play out in wealthy nations. This ultimately led me to return, I was about to become a cog in a machine perpetuating the dominance and excess of the wealthy (I was in hospitality) over the suffering of millions. Conversely, I have found that the happiest people I know are never the most successful or wealthy, but rather the most unassuming. When we think about our future we may be inclined to get our own, go for the gold and ignore our sense of connectedness. This may temporarily work for some, to build our own private paradise (which summons d-bags guests all too often) and believe we are “winners”. I believe everyone is a closet hippie or closet bhuddist, and that compassion and helping others is the only true way of finding meaning in life. True, we might not change the world and whatever we have done will not be permanent, but such is life. Life is unfair and there´s not much we can do to ultimately change things, but we can choose to go with a fight, but a beautiful one, where we lose ourselves in love (not the I love you type, which can be good, but universal love) and can never be lost.
    The nature of existence is fleeting, I guess we have to surrender to uncertainty and impermanence, but it will not feel like surrendering if we are willing to let go of our self – love. We will all have to deal with this, as 100% of people die and that´s pretty much the only statistic we can trust. We will all have to let go. We might as well do it now and not live with a hidden fear of “the end”. I don´t claim to be an example of this as I am stil tempted by wealth and recognition, but from my experience I can tell you that no degree of “success” can ignore the fact that we all (myself included) don´t practice what we preach, and that we as humans have the capacity to create a friendlier, more considerate world. We feel “lost” because we feel alone, but we are all the same, sentient beings who want to be happy and avoid suffering. And as we are the same, other´s suffering is our own, and we will never feel safe or complete if we know we contribute to ignoring our fellow human´s suffering.
    A bit utopic, I know. But we can defeat our true enemy (ego) when we choose to let go of it and TRUST. Times seem rough now, they probably always have been, but we actually have all the resources to create a world without fear, deprivation and suffering. Let´s face it: we only have each other to rely on, and we can only relate to each other because fear, loneliness, and being isolated are universal.

    • Insaf Jaleel

      That was a beautiful post.

    • Seraphine

      I love this.

    • Jen

      beautifully spoken, I think you are right on, the only problem is in remembering this everday

  • Sorta_Confused

    Hey Therese, I’m still an undergrad and one of my biggest fears is paying for college. I’d like to travel the country after I graduate, but I’m worried about student loans that’ll keep me stuck in job-land. Do you have any thoughts/advice?

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      Valid concern. I’d say either:

      1- Travel BEFORE college or before you have student loans (may be too late for that)
      2- Work while traveling abroad (e.g., teach English, remote work or other opportunities)
      3- Work for awhile after college, live way below your means so you can save up a bunch of money and/or pay off your student loans. THEN you can afford to take time to travel

  • Aditi

    I loved your post and it came up when i googled “what to do in life when your lost”. I dont know what is going on with me, On the career front , i am 22 yr old girl, waiting for some graduate school acceptance and 100% not sure if i would get in. On a personal front, i am so scared after 2 failed serious relationships that , I have become so smart ( i think lol) that i wont ever like a man or find one that i like, or who likes me. SOmetimesii think what if i am 30,or 40 and still alone,wandering, day dreaming.? all my life was spent day dreaming i guess. I am so pissed at myself bcs life is not going as i dreamt it would? does it mean that it will never really become what i dreamt? Will i have to settle with ordinary things and make compromises with what i want, and what i get? this fear is making me miserable. I am becoming more reclusive each day.

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  • Lost girl

    I’ve just come across this blog and found it so reassuring that there are others out there going through the same stuff. I’m 32 and single and not where I expected to be, I’ve spent nearly 10 years working for the same company (working my way up) and have now realised its not the industry for me!! After lots of soul searching I came up with the idea that maybe Event Management could be a good fit for me, but looking into it a bit more I realise that firstly its very competitive and difficult to get into and secondly I’d have to halve my current salary! I don’t know where to turn to, all I know is that I feel lost and confused, I have knots in my stomach all the time and this feeling of being unsettled and feeling down.

    I think friends and family are getting bored of the “I don’t know what to do”, every so often I talk myself into feeling excited about the unknown but this is a really conscious effort and not actually how I naturally feel. I’ve also thought about starting again in another country as I feel suffocated and in desperate need of excitement but don’t know how to go about this or what i would do or if I could really go through with it on my own as I’m not that independent. I look around and everyone seems to have it so together with jobs and partners I don’t understand how I my life hasn’t progressed that much in the last 10 years. I don’t know who to turn to or where to go for help and advice which is making me feel really alone….

    • Fuzzy

      Can I email you ?

    • EB

      Event management is probably the EASIEST thing to fall into – you just have to be out networking. Don’t do your fact finding from behind the computer – that ‘competitive’ stuff, when you are actually in it, is never really very real. We ascribe more meaning to words than we should when we are anxious (or a perfectionist like me) I think.

      • ravi/bangalore

        perfectly said,you may feel others are more experienced than you.but in reality it is your performance delivery it all matters.come out of those computers and face the market,let others find your potential
        ravi/bangalore

  • Dave

    good article!

  • kata

    thank you, amazing article, that’s what I needed!

  • WeOwntheMoment

    This
    is probably a harsh criticism, but I felt like the author just gave herself
    permission to be content. Contentment is a terrible trap – we all have
    the capacity to be greater and the obligation to enjoy the hell out of
    this amazing world while we’re here.
    Its good that the experience helped her grow, and good that she’s
    found peace realizing there’s no “answer” to life, but in my opinion,
    its a shame that it all led her back to a job she doesnt like and a
    lifestyle that doesnt sound too fulfilling. I, too, left a high paying job and life, sold everything I owned, and started traveling the country in a station wagon exploring the parks and cities, meeting people and crashing couches, and just living for lifes sake. I, too, didnt discover “the answer,” because there isn’t one – life was simply meant to be enjoyed at all costs.

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      Never content– just staying open and living in the questions! I ended up leaving my accounting job and my house almost a year ago, so I didn’t stay in that house and that cubicle forever! But if I’d had chosen to, that would’ve been OK too. Everyone makes the best decisions they can at the time and is always learning exactly what they need to learn. This experience– and this life– is yours and yours alone, no matter who you are.

      x

  • loulabelle

    This post is perfect, I have been in thailand for 2 weeks, starting a journey of self discovery. I shall mow carry on travelling the world reminding myself what is the worst that could happen if I havent figured it all out.im going to let go of needing to find the answers.

  • http://www.facebook.com/anne.boleyn.969 Anne Boleyn

    As simple as your words were, my whole perspective has suddenly shifted. I don’t feel any better, per se, about being completely lost and clueless…a 29 year old with a B.A. and M.A. in English literature who, after teaching at the university level for 3 years as a used and abused Adjunct is now working as a medical assistant at a Podiatry clinic wondering how this happened…but it makes me feel, for the moment at least, that maybe being lost and clueless is, as I feared, the state of things but, as I hadn’t anticipated, that that could be alright. As 30 hurtles at me like a cold-hearted bitch, threatening to turn me into a 30 year old loser with 2 degrees and nothing to show for it but what I learned..which, although I’m grateful for it and wouldn’t change it, doesn’t seem like much right now…I tilt my head and wonder if maybe, that’s just how life is now. I think what makes it hard for those of us who graduated into recession and uncertainty (I graduated with my B.A. in Dec. of 2007 right before the shit hit the fan, financially) is that most of our parents and grandparents lived such a different life. My parents own a home, have worked at the same jobs for over 20 years…there life is so seemingly stable. Meanwhile I have done every job under the sun, the longest I’ve worked in the same place was 2 years, I won’t be in a position to buy a house for the next like 5 years at least, etc… The question I always ask myself is: Where did I go wrong? Because I feel like I can only blame the situation on other things for so long before it starts plaguing me that it’s somehow my fault? Is it? Isn’t it? Who knows…I followed my heart and what I believed was my calling…and here I am. And now I don’t know…am I supposed to teach? Do I want that PhD in Literacy? Do I risk another degree only to still wind up in some random job which, is nice, but really doesn’t fulfill me on a deep, meaningful level. What to do, what to do? And yet, in the midst of this, your article. Embrace the uncertainty…make it your awkward friend. We don’t have to have it all figured out by the time we’re 30; Maybe if I say this enough to myself, it will begin to take over. But in the mean time, thanks for being the first person for ever pointing out that this is okay. -An Admirer

  • Ruja

    i love love love this article. I’m experiencing the same kinda thing and I totally get it. This is so true! <3

  • laura

    Hello everyone, priestandrew91@yahoo.com helped me out when i thought my life is lost don’t know where its going……… It all started when the father of my two kids left me and sworn never to have anything to do with me and all effort to get him back prove to be abortive and i decided to let things be the way they are cause i felt my life is lost don’t know where its going. But Priest Andrew came into the picture and things turned out to be how i have ever wanted it to be……….I will forever be grateful to him for the rest of my life, Am so happy!!!!!!!!!! Laura

  • lala

    i thgt it would help me your blog in some way but it din .. i embraced everything that life had to offer felt contented frm inside .. but at the end of the road i still dont know what i like to do

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      :-) It’s a long and continuously unfolding journey, not a one-step answer…

  • Andrea

    Wow! We have the same life story (well sort of) job to job, long relationship gone, d-bag after d-bag and then randomly moved to Australia. Then you get home and then a few years later, still lost. : )

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      Still lost but further along on the journey of finding your way than you realize :)

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  • Weihong Tan

    seriously i feel you.best blog ever.made my day .Life is always hard and complicated :( =D

  • Katie

    Thank you so much for this! I am a first year college student, and I’m currently majoring in music. It’s what I’ve known and done since I was in fourth grade. Don’t get me wrong by what I’m about to say, because I love it. I have always and always will love music and this ability, this talent that I get to call my own. The problem? There are really only a couple of options job-wise for me to pursue with this major. Education or performance. Neither of which are appealing to me. So what’s a girl to do? Also, with a new found backstabbing b**** of a “friend” and a lying sort-of-boyfriend who lives on the other side of the country due to unavoidable surcumstances, and the feeling that that relationship may be ending soon, in all honesty I feel alone. There are times that I panick because I don’t know what to do! My biggest fear is changing my major but ending up with something I hate so completely. That is one of the biggest reasons why I haven’t changed majors yet. That and the fact that I don’t want to be a quitter. That’s how I feel what people are going to look at me. And then the question comes to mind, well if I switch majors is there another campus that could work better for me? While I have made some great friends here, I feel like it would be so nice sometimes to just start over sort of at a different place. One thing that makes me proud of myself when these thoughts become overwhelmingly intense, is all that I have learned about myself since I started this school year. I have learned to rely on myself, to not need the approval of others, and to not feel like I have to depend on a guy (or anyone really for that matter) to be happy. I can be happy by myself doing certain things that I love. And for these revelations, I am so glad. I’ve discovered that I am a lot stronger than what at one time I thought I was. I know that I can stand on my own two feet, even if I fall down a couple of times, and get up again and carry on. I wanted to say thank you for this article because it makes me feel a little less alone in these feelings. It’s nice to know that there are others out there who have and are going through some of the same things I am.

  • Mikey

    Hey Therese,

    Just came across your blog after typing “what to do when your lost in life?”, well lets just say Im glad the thought of being lost in life led me to this blog of yours. I just came out of a relationship to which was a total betrayal, add onto that other personal issues that keep haunting me, i want to find my passion, as i feel i dont have any right now, everything i think i wanna be (nurse, event manager, writer etc) i just feel like Im not good enough and that somehow. I actually can relate to michelle, the person that just commented before me, i want to start a business, or more i want to create something, something that shows who i am, and thats all i know, i have long been trying to find this “soulmate” of mine, but i think i need to focus on myself for a change, and that your blog helped me realize that, as i dont need validation from other people to know how good i am of a person inside. Thanks and hope all is going well for you.

    P.S I am the one in Australia, who just might run off to another country for a year..haha! :)

  • Jan

    We are what we think. If we feel lost and confused then we will remain lost and confused. I do not
    believe this is a way to live ones life it’s not necessary. Thoughts are powerful things and we attract into our lives that which we believe. Our sub-concussion is powerful and will continue to deliver experiences into our lives based on our beliefs, feelings and thoughts.

    Before going to sleep at night take five minutes and say out-loud that you wish to attract “I find the perfect job”, “I am in a loving supportive relationship”, “I am happy and calm” etc. Instead of falling asleep thinking about how bad your life is or who made you angry that day.

    Look up Wayne Dyer he speaks on the subconscious very informative.

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      Hi Jan, Agreed, I think there is room for *accepting* what is and resting in the mystery of the unknown… and yet at the same time holding intention to find our way. I don’t believe it is (or can be) an either/or scenario. It’s just that the “letting go” part is so often underemphasized in our society, which is why it’s the piece that I focus on here.

      <3

  • Mac Ten

    You sound quite dopey, maybe you should have learned after the first “d-bag” instead of making the same mistake god knows how many times.

  • Jeremy

    That is a pretty good blog. i just came across this article and the title drew my attention. Hi, Therese, you are right. it is Okay to be lost and trapped in confusion. recently, i read a book. it said maybe you will never get your life figured out and then so what. No matter how hard you struggle to find your life purpose. in the end, you might not be able to find it. since maybe nobody knows it in advance, it normally happens by accident.

    I just graduated from the university and began my work last year. I tried to look for a life position all the four years in my university and finally, i began to realized my best choice is to be a international businessman in the future. so i got a job in a Exporting company. It was a really good company and the salary was good , people around are nice, only one thing is terrible, work too long (That is not the most terrible point). I hated doing boring things all the time and my leader always blamed me. I began to ask myself :”is this what i really want? ” When the answer was No, i didn’t like that life style. So i quit. I really spent too much time encouraging myself to quit. It is not easy to say no especially to leave a work environment where you are get used to.

    Then i got a break and did go to travel alone and back on my way. then struggled to go on my life as i imagined. All of the things should happen well as i guessed on my journey.

    But when i got back to the real life again, still lost.

    Recently, i was in charge of a project in a small company. I worked hard and tried to get to know how far i could go. now it is nearly the end. maybe i couldn’t get a good result as i liked. In China, young men are in a great pressure, about the house , car and kids’ education. I guess it might be the same in other countries.

    Thanks for your sharing. We are still on the way. It is Okay to be lost!

  • Imokay

    I dont even know what to say, and Im ok with that. Best blog I have ever read, and exactly what i needed to hear!

  • annon

    lucky for you. you sound rich.

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      Hey! I saved up a bunch of money while working before I took the leap and went to Australia. I also worked a bit when I was there as I traveled around. If you use your resourcefulness, you’ll find that you don’t have to be rich in order to travel ;)

  • Francisco

    Gracias.

  • Patrick

    Just cried a little reading this. Last month for unknown reasons I picked up everything and just traveled around the South and Western U.S. It was the greatest thing I have ever done for myself. Am I still lost? Hell yes. But I now have a sense of “positive magnetic drift” I know I will have more experiences, both positive and negative, and each one will mold me and shape me into an individual, unique and awesome person. Thank you!

  • Seraphine

    Thank you for this post. I sure as hell am tired of tryin to control everythin and feel like a failure for not knowing everything. I just can’t do that anymore because life just sucks when you’re that way.

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  • Suda

    I am glad to I found your blog. I feel good about myself.

  • Natasha

    Thank you so much… I felt much better after reading your article… I must say it is very inspiring. Think I found some answers I was looking for.
    The thing is I just graduated and is still unsure about what i want in life. already changed multiple jobs. Having heard that im stuck up from family members.
    I really didn’t know what to do with life… i felt useless until i found your blog.
    Thank you very much….

  • Jilu Khan Spandiary

    I’m here because I cant figure out what to major in.
    Dang nabbit.

  • Jodi

    I just stumbled upon this page, and I found it so fitting with what I am putting myself through emotionally at the moment. I appreciate the words you have written and the internet lead me to them just when I needed to read them. Thank you.

  • EB

    Wow, you are an amazing writer. I wish I could explain all of what I’m letting go of right now – hopes, fantasies, dreams, money, the perfect resume… I needed to hear this.

  • EB

    P.S. I wish we could take forums like this and turn them into Google Hangouts for group therapy…

  • Evita

    I am a 43 years old with two boys and an ex long gone, In my life it is not only nowthat I feel lost but I have been feeling lost all my life. When I goes youg I thought I did`n belong within my family, I still feel the same, Then as I grew up never knew exactly what to study nothing seem like it goes going to be that great, I keep changing carrers direction over and over until I went to college and study tourism just because I thought it would be the best thing to do where ever I lived. Live just twirl on me and i end up working in a genetics lab. as a secretary. Don`t get me wrong I love my job and my co-workers now friends after 11 years together but I don`t feel fully complete as a person. Should I spect from out of life? what do I need to do to get there where one feels complete with oneself????

    Any way I loveyou blog, I have cry almost all the way down it felt like my one words. It is conforting to know there is more people that feels the same. Thank you for everthing.

  • Diana VP

    Brilliantly written, Therese! Thank you, thank you. This reminds me of the JRR Tolkien quote “Not all those who wander are lost.” Years ago a counselor asked me, “so is it so bad being in the wilderness?” Well, it is bad when you spend your time listening to what others tell you you “should” do – and I use that word to excess. For some of us, finding our own voice IS the journey. I will print this article and quote it (if you don’t mind) on my bathroom mirror, in the hallway, on my dashboard … the worst that could happen is that I will end up where I am. Didn’t Don McLean write “all roads lead to where I stand”? Excellent point. If I am afraid of being where I am, then where is the harm in trying something else. The only thing certain in life is change. Life (biology) is change and growth. When we stop changing, we die. At 57, I feel like I’m waiting for my real life to begin, and don’t know how to make that happen. Maybe the 1960s mantra is the key: Go with the flow, Ride with the Tide, Move with the Groove. (ha,ha) It is rather a freeing thought that I don’t “need” to figure it out. I can let go of the search, and maybe, just maybe, the answers will find me. This is a great blog. Thank you again!

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  • Ryan Riopelle

    This was literally the greatest page on the internet that I have found, I even set it as my homepage to read every day. Thank you.

  • Phoebus Apollo Musagettes

    Bless you and thank you, Therese. You have touched me; I am a 56 year old male who is still lost—as ever. People call me “Will.” There’s a good reason why, too, and it fits this, your dialogue.

    First, know I am a humorist, and I want to ask you, after reading all this and discovering your pic at the end, have you then perhaps now discovered that by keeping the dark shades flipped up you are not so lost anymore and can better find your way around?

    Seriously tho, I look (backwards, mostly) at my life (for I only see the future blurred) as being that of one who is basically lost and confused—and that is how I found you, seeking others feeling as I do, googling “lost and confused.” I would like to share with you, dear one, some thoughts which include ideas, or questions, I find to be missing in this discussion. First, also, know a little more about me.

    Since my earliest memories I have been drawn to artistic expression. This may have in part or whole to do with the fact of my parents being deaf. Thus I learned sign language from a young age. When very young I also was taken with painting and poetry. I speak of age five, when I could at that time as well, be found sitting on the kitchen floor with a circular arrangement of pots and pans about me and utensils in hand: yes, from five I displayed an interest in playing drums. Mom and Dad supported this, not worrying about the noise, and bought me a set of drums. Precipitating Keith Moon of The Who and other drummers far more well known than myself I quickly demolished that first set of drums.

    Later, after a few trashed toy sets, I was gifted with a real set of drums—and lessons, too. This pursuit was followed by my interests in guitar, piano, and other musical instruments. All the while, or from the beginning, there was the radio, pop music, Ed Sullivan, the Beatles, the Stones, etc. My older sister and I could blast the radio at home or in the car—again, cuz mom and dad are deaf.

    Then came dancing: Candy, my older sister, took ballet at a young age and I would tag along and watch. To this day I love all forms of dancing, which includes myself doing it.

    Next: theater—acting, singing, dancing on stage, working backstage, too, here in New Orleans at community theater venues. Then: a passion for books—the classics—The Odyssey is my all time favorite.

    Hence, by age twelve my interests were painting/sketching, writing poetry/lyrics, playing/writing music, dancing, theater, literature and math! I was a straight A student throughout elhi with a penchant for math—algebra, trig, calculus 1, 2, 3 in college, so forth.

    Now: in my teens and twenties I embraced philosophy. Tarot, astrology, palmistry, and just about all the occult sciences I also took a good look at. I was an avid reader. I am also a fan of James Joyce, can mimic his literary style, as well as many mystical poets and writers of history—another subject I enjoy.

    BUT! Here’s the catch: okay, yes, I got married at 24, have two beautiful daughters (26 & 30), got divorced, married three more times, am alone now, but! It was when I was 33 I had a crisis. I got lost big time.

    I laid next to my first wife in bed eyes wide open in the dark eight hours all night long. In fear, my dear, utter fear. In a moment I had become totally lost and confused. Don’t think my life up to that point was clear or meaningful. All those various pursuits was so much grasping at straws.

    Growing up I had no idea what to do with my life—I was scattered! with too many interests to pick just one. When ever asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” what always came to mind was a picture of me with a stick over my shoulder and a bag dangling at the end and me hopping freight trains.

    Then at 18 I was lucky to get a job (didn’t look for it, that’s another story) as a draftsman. Ahh! Drawing for a living—I can do that! Loved it! (On a giant drawing board with a parallel rule, plastic triangles, lead holders with 2H lead, all before CAD and computers—architecture was another interest of mine, my oldest daughter is an architect.) This was the beginning of my 30+/- year career (I went to college at the same time and chose construction engineering as my major—includes another interest: building stuff, say, like magic tricks, illusions—yet another interest). I’m semi-retired now from that stuff, being more thoroughly lost now, of course.

    Restored/renovated three historic houses I bought, too. Never stopped pursuing all my many interests. But I am lost. And I am weary. A song comes to mind now as I write this: U2, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”

    Actually, I am not sure I have ever been sincerely looking for anything specific. Stuff just keeps happening to me and I play along, as it were. I really believe I am just lost in it all. But it strikes me as the best place to be lost in. Who really would choose to be lost in the other option? I did.

    Back to my crisis: what happened to me? Another song ran through my head that sleepless night: “And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife, and you may say to yourself, ‘Well, how did I get here?'” That’s what happened to me: I asked myself the biggest question of life. And I had no answer.

    So, I did something else: I took a deep look at all of my life up to that point. And as I did so I had a curious thought: what if I pool everything together? And I had a revelation. I knew what to do: I would coalesce all my many favorite interests into one: one medium which could encompass all my creative pursuits.

    In the Library of Congress, Washington, DC, USA, since 1997, there exists the first copy in artistic form the culmination of my life until age 40. It took me seven years to create. It includes a book with illustrations and a recorded vocalized musical orchestration. It is called, “The MVSES” —it is an opera.

    My great work is about a lost soul. He is an artist, a painter who has lost all inspiration. He only stares at a blank canvas and no longer knows what to paint. Through the course of the story it is seen that he struggles to ever find meaning but he is losing his mind. In the end he kills himself. It is a tragedy.

    See: I was a comedian in my youth; in musical comedies in the theater, voted “wittiest” in high school, and simply silly all the time everywhere. Basically, I never took anything seriously. Not growing up was the most of all. Peter Pan complex, you could say (my oldest daughter was Peter Pan in a high school play and did indeed fly in the Freemasons’ beautiful theater at a Scottish Rite Temple). But upon my crisis I chose to turn my head 180 and examine the flip side; thus I became a tragedian. And in what I first perceived as loss I found a strange success. A musical magnum opus about failure. Wherein at the final act, when the painter, after having committed suicide, awakens in the Underworld to discover a beautiful tree that finally inspires him yet he now cannot see its blossoms but only see its roots.

    One thing I find missing in the blog is the very important dimension of being which is divinity. If one part of me believes I don’t get “it,” and another part of me nonetheless believes that “it” exists, that is divinity. A human without GOD is inhuman, just as a god without human is dead. Or, correctly conversely, a god without human is inhuman, just as human without GOD is dead.

    The answer lies in the soul. It appears to sleep (lies) or not tell the truth (lies). Why must this be? Easy, not so easy. Think of balance. Do we not all appreciate even-mindedness? Do the sane not wish to be fair?

    When I sing of the root of the one great tree know a couple things: the two trees in the bible are like the first two people: they are one divided. Divided why? Because we. Wee is smallness of focus, it is self and ego and no root. Root alone without ego is madness. All must work together.

    Are you really lost? You seem awfully right there to me. Exactly where you are and want to be every moment always. I sometimes fool myself still as I get older and should be smarter but oops! I fail. And I learn. Never did figure out how to learn from my laurels—except maybe complacency.

    Wait: maybe I am onto something—wait again, I have another thought—hold on still, got one more—no, I am wrong, I am lost in a sea of endless possibilities… (Poseidon rises and speaks to me:) “You want to lose your way home?”

    Poseidon! You would do that to me? What wrong have I your wrath to wrought? Wait! It just occurred to me: I asked for it, didn’t I?

    I am all water of life and you are one breath upon me, sail where you choose, found or lost as you may.

    After his victory of the Trojan War, Odysseus boasted to the sea. And boasting is a complicated thing, please see. Whether you embrace success or failure just to rejoice of it is… well, I just say be careful. Beware of going to extremes. The words carved in stone at the Oracle of Delphi include, “Nothing in excess,” and “Thou Art,” and “Know Thyself.”

    Well I just wanted to give of myself. I guess my point is I don’t need a point. Socrates said, “All I know is I know nothing,” and that’s a paradox. Faith feels good. I think we are all actually trying to say in a funny way we are not lost at all. Being alive is being found.

    • Akira

      3:20AM: I was searching on the net ” I am confused and I don’t know why”

      searching, seeking for any kind of knowledge. It feels like I have seen every shade of each colour– but I know that other colours exist even though humans can only see the average rainbow and black n white.
      Let’s see, lonely child, later found out I had a big bro n sis who are 15~20+ years older than me (sadly, they are my /half/ siblings). Mum is from Colombia. . …as of today, she has lived in the United States for twenty years. She still has not adapted to the ways of American life; won’t drive a car, won’t go anywhere alone, lives in her bubble, always tells me “go ask your dad”. It is very, very difficult- to the point I don’t really have a mother, but like a nurse, or a housekeeper, or a mother lacking outer traits (it is tough to describe). While my dad n I were made in Detroit. (love that place).

      Then, I have an odd belief with the stars in the night sky. As if I am always being listened to whenever I lay in my back yard staring into the heavens. My wishes have usually come true. Sometimes in large quantities, or small obvious collections. Exactly a year ago in the month of March, at the age of fifteen, I went to Japan. Now, I am an anime-lover, a fan of anything Japan. But never would I expect there for a spot in my life to open an opportunity to go there. ”indescribable.” so many things were just so “they fell into place” or, “my needs were constantly met”. There is so much I don’t understand!! Questions like “why do things happen??”. The answers I get are usually answers for “why do /bad/ things happen??”. The things that happen in my life are not bad at all. In fact, I’m quite the optimist. then it may be the way one perceives the things that happen in their life. One thing I may see as genuine will be seen as ordinary or “of no meaning” to another. That’s me.

      Come to the moment I am still typing this, March 31st, 2014, 4:13AM. On December, report cards came out. I also switched from orchestra to band to expand my musical experience. Things were going amazing, or so I thought. Report card. Okay, let’s see how I did. Failed 5/8 classes for the semester. ….the past was the past. But…it really hurt me. I knew my performance in school was dwindling, but…how and why? That took a blow on me. Before I knew it, the dark wrath of actual, clinical depression (with a dash of anxiety) came. My dark/crappy/shitty days. Had crying spells 5+times a day. Things where just lining up. I kept saying how much I wanted to die, I knew about six languages, I was very unique, lucky..but what’s it all worth? Guess the nihilism came with the depression. Then, I got that nasty haircut I never EVER wanted. For some reason, a thought came into my mind. A fork road. On one, would lead me to check out “the stupid church down my street” or “end my life in April”. Made the choice to check out the Baptist church the next week. That’s when things began to move, finally, I could put myself out there like I’ve always wanted to. I got to meet a new set of people. I could sense if I belong somewhere, or if I don’t. Strangely, I joined the youth group every Thursday, and made the effort to go to Saturday evening church+night bible school.
      ….wow. Even with the above paragraph, I can’t manage to squeeze in the other events that structured who I am at the moment. Maybe that’s spaces are really for. To let the reader fill out what else may have happened.

      Now, back to why am I here feeling confused and finding this one page?
      Well, to the one point where you wrote about ~*Divinity*~
      It kinda open a new hole in my mind that should be filled soon?
      Then I cried when you mentioned God. …humans /need/ God??
      So, I guess that is what opened me up. Crazy huh. I seem to understand your full intention of all that you typed out, but I’m only sixteen!! Who am I? How did– sorry. I’ve been seeing people from the church/youth who are helping guide me and answer my questions more n more. I will keep the subject of “divinity” in my mind when I have dinner with Mrs. Miller today.
      But I shall keep your entire comment in mind whenever.
      I am simply someone who puts ten steps forward into thoughts n considerations for individuals. Ah! Just wanted to add that I LOVE music and art and poetry and all that expressive stuff! So pure! The one branch those traits root from is the human soul and puts expression into it. How beautiful.

      Even though I read the blog post, to me, I feel like your very story was the ‘thing’ I needed to listen/hear/see that would open my eyes. Really. Things happen for some reason huh? Thank you so much Will. I’ll keep tabs on this in case I get a reply! Thanks. –Natalie

  • Sherrie

    “Never in my life have I seen magic work so fast. I ordered a love spells from drstanleyspelltemple@hotmail.com because my man was acting like he didn’t want to be with me anymore and spending less time with me before we broke up and i ask Dr. Stanley to cast a love spell on him to make him love me again and come back to me which he did and in the next 24hours after the spell was cast my man came to my house to beg for forgiveness and ask me to accept him back. Thank you Dr. for your help…Sherrie

  • Coyote

    I am nearing graduation and I feel all these same feelings. I expected to be joyous and excited that my schooling is finally over. After everything I’ve been through, I wanted to be finally satisfied with myself! Now, one chapter of my life is closing and another one is about to open. I feel fear, anxiety, inadequacy, second guessing myself, ah, the list is endless.

  • Miss Lilian

    I found a great spell caster online who helped me to get back my husband who has left me for pass 3 years. we where married for 8years without a child and my friend introduce me to a real spell caster named Dr.Zara which I never believe it exist but after the meeting of this spell caster my problem where solved and now I am with my husband who left me for pass three years my life and my entire family are now happy now I have two kids with the help of this great spell caster. thanks to true gift spell temple and I will advice anyone in need of help to contact him with this email: oselovespelltemple@gmail.com . i never belive that my ex husband will be back to me again, thank God for the happiness he used his son to put in my face .

  • Fresh Aire

    I needed this

  • Lidia Mckinney

    I never believe all these were truth until I got liberated by it… My testimony is too long to share here. Contact Dr. Ikhine if u need any help. He gives 100% in every spell casting and as a professional he make sure all goes right. specializing in the fields of Love, Money, Power, Success, Sickness, Pregnancy, Marriage, Job, Protection, Lottery, Court Case, Luck. etc. provide the information below INFORMATION NEEDED: Your Full Name:_________ Your Partner name:_________ Your Contact number:_________ Your country/Location:_________ The picture of both of you:_________ Your complete address:_________ With this information the spell will commence immediately and you will have to stay tune for more feed back from my shrine. Contact him via: agbadado@gmail.com or call him on +2347060552255.

    Wish You Good Luck.

  • viana

    I had a spell cast by someone called Dee and they were very nasty to me. I was worried that maybe they did something to make my situation worse. Priest oduma , you and your team of spell casters broke and cleansed those bad spells and put things right with the binding love spell. I don’t know where I’d be without the spell casting services your organization provides, thank you so much sir contact him _ spellofsolution@gmail.com OR call +2348153363047

    Thank you so much! Violet Calloway – Leeds, United KingdomI had a spell cast by someone called Dee and they were very nasty to me. I was worried that maybe they did something to make my situation worse. Priest oduma , you and your team of spell casters broke and cleansed those bad spells and put things right with the binding love spell. I don’t know where I’d be without the spell casting services your organization provides, thank you so much sir contact him _ spellofsolution@gmail.com OR call +2348153363047

    Thank you so much! Violet Calloway – Leeds, United Kingdom

  • Emiliano Babarah

    Oh my God, I’m so glad to tell everyone the real thing that happen to me…My name is EMILIANO BABARAH. If i refuse to share this testimony it means i am selfish to my self and to people i love so much whom might have similar problems, March 16th about something 7:23pm after taken our dinner my husband got crazy started calling a lady name Melisa I love you, i was so mad and started crying like a baby…then my husband left home for the idiot called Melisa, and never return back home then i believed when he uthen nderstand his self he will surly come back to apology, but instead he left me So i complained to my friend she told me she was having such problems in her marriage until she was introduce to DR ORIOMON who specializes in bringing back broken homes and broken marriages DR ORIOMON cast a spell for me in May 4th surprisingly my husband came home May 6th apologizing that i should forgive him that it will never happen again, i was so glad and gave the thanks to DR ORIOMON who save my marriage, if you are having similar problem you can contact him and His email address is (oriomonspiritualtemple@yahoo.com) you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband.

    Thanks EMILIANO BABARAH_USA

  • kerri

    Great blog every word relates to me ive came to the decision just to travel and see what happens

  • http://www.military.com/spouse/military-deployment/reintegration/returning-to-home-life-after-deployment.html How To Stop A Divorce

    How To Stop A Divorce And Save Your Marriage?

    My Name is Vicky Lorimer, I am From Manchester in United Kingdom.i am hear to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr Brave for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after a week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still love me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that Dr Brave casted on him that make him to come back to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr Brave for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact bravespellcaster@gmail.com. and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.

  • Rose Marylove

    My name is Sophia from usa,i never believe in spell until i contacted this great man of spirit called DR ABIZA.Me and my husband have been married for three years and we had a baby boy,before we got married we dated for two years and we love each other so much.But i never knew that he was having an affair with one of my closest friend and they have been seen each other for about four months.One day he came home and raise up an unnecessary argument with me and we had a quarrel so he threaten to live the house which he did the following day and he left me and the kid to be with my so called friend,so in the course of my distress i was reading some pages on the internet on how to get back a lost husband,then i saw a testimony by Jessica on how DR ABIZA help her to get back her ex boy friend,so i also contacted the DR via the email address provided by Jessica and he told me that my friend cast a spell on my husband that made him to leave me and the kid to be with her.To cut the story short,DR ABIZA also told me what to do which i did and my friend hated my husband so much that she never wanted to see him again and after three days my husband came back to me begging for my forgiveness.Today am happy with my husband again.If you are having any problem like this you can email him through this address:{DRABIZASPELLTEMPLE20@HOTMAIL.COM},and you can count on him for a great help.

  • ragnathebloodedge

    AS the supposedly eccentric individual I am. Truth is i just want to overcome my Asperger’s Syndrome as I want to stop feeling left out. I would like to know these social rules and codes which society has dictated by put in place. Regardless though I feel that it’s necessary for me to adapt to the world around me instead of thinking the world needs to adapt to someone like me. It just doesn’t work that way, and so I’ve decided to work on understanding how to work on something like Aspergers which I have.

    I don’t know how long it will take but I know in my heart that I will overcome it with time.

  • Mahek Khan

    Wow after reading this blog i feel really good…. i was so tensed an confused, because of people opinon’s about me, its like they were getting on my nerves, “what do u do? what u wanna do in your life? what u will be after five years? do something productive with your life, your an aimless person, and above all they are taking decesions for me, do this! study this! marry him! stay away from him!

    I was so worried about my future, whats the gurantee that they are right and i am wrong? and vise versa what if i’ll find out that i am wrong n they are right? why life is so difficult to understand? but after reading this blog i felt good like i could really relate to it….. a big thanks to you for writing this :)

  • Lucy

    I love this. I’ve just finished a course at an art college where I specialised in illustration, towards the end I lost all motivation with the project and became so depressed about it I’d go to college crying about it most days. I felt like slowly but surely I was loosing parts of my soul trying to make something work that really just wasn’t. Now I’m supposed to be going to university in September to study illustration and don’t get me wrong I love to draw and the idea of illustrating children’s books excites me, but after a (no doubt) failed foundation course and a feeling of being trapped, lost and alone I have no idea what to do, my future is so unclear I’m scared I will just be a nobody. I’ve never had anything that I was exceptionally good at, I’m just average at most things I guess. I envy the people who know where they are going in life.

  • carrie steve

    i want to give thanks to the great doctor kizzekpe who help me in getting back my ex-boyfriend i saw a testimony post by miss rose from Spain about how the great doctor kizzekpe had helped her, i decide to email him and to my greatest surprise my ex-boyfriend came back to me after 68hours days of contacting him.i simply want to say thanks for what he had done for me and am so happy may he live long. if you have any problem just email him :kizzekpespells@outlook.com and you will not regret contacting him…CARRIE STEVE

  • reva

    You are great. I discovered how to feel free years ago. Not so long after that I was head over heels in love and it turned me around. Hyperventilation syndrome deteriorated my quality of life. These things put together made me forget how to feel OK with things that always change. You have just reminded me of the greatest wisdom & treasure in my entire life which I used to be able to embrace. Thanks.

  • Shubhi Aggarwal

    Loved this piece :) It brought some perspective in my life right now. Thank u so much :)

  • Mrs Sarah

    My Name is Sarah, From United Kingdom. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr.Sammy has just done for me,this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Mr.Kenny we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email:(drsammyantispell@gmail.com) then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr.Sammy for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:

    1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
    yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money or properties? or call him +2348162024853

    drsammyantispell@gmail.com

  • angela

    My name is Angela and am from USA, I want to use this opportunity to thank my great Doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man Dr Osorba brought my husband back to me, i had two lovely kids for my husband, about four years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i should not worry about it at all, so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man’s email address. I was doubting if this man was the solution, so i contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i deed them all, he told me to wait for just 48 hours and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully did what this great man asked me to do and for sure after 48 hours i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away, since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy, that’s why i want to say a big thank you to Dr Osorba Spiritual Temple. This great man made me to understand that there is no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. You can email him at: osorbaspiritualspelltemple@gmail.com you can also visit his blog on http://osorba.blog.co.uk and websites websites http://osorbaspiritualspelltemple.webs.com/

  • elisevienna

    I am incredibly grateful. I feel so so so alone. One year has passed since I graduated college and I don’t know what the F to do. I am a temp but I still find myself applying to job after job (ones I don’t even like). I also find myself wanting to travel and just get the heck away from all of this. I love with my BF but I still want to travel. I felt stuck because I knew traveling for months would hurt him because he is so set on settling down. But I don’t want to feel stuck anymore. This is giving me just a little bit of courage but it is courage I was without before I read this. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  • Emiliano Babarah

    Oh my God, I’m so glad to tell everyone the real thing that happen to me…My name is EMILIANO BABARAH. If i refuse to share this testimony it means i am selfish to my self and to people i love so much whom might have similar problems, March 16th about something 7:23pm after taken our dinner my husband got crazy started calling a lady name Melisa I love you, i was so mad and started crying like a baby…then my husband left home for the idiot called Melisa, and never return back home then i believed when he uthen nderstand his self he will surly come back to apology, but instead he left me So i complained to my friend she told me she was having such problems in her marriage until she was introduce to DR ORIOMON who specializes in bringing back broken homes and broken marriages DR ORIOMON cast a spell for me in May 4th surprisingly my husband came home May 6th apologizing that i should forgive him that it will never happen again, i was so glad and gave the thanks to DR ORIOMON who save my marriage, if you are having similar problem you can contact him and His email address is (oriomonspiritualtemple@yahoo.com) you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband.

    Thanks EMILIANO BABARAH_USA

  • going through lifes wounder

    Your words truly touched my soul I am 17 years young but im one of those kids that had to learn life quick. Although im still currently in high school im still very uncertain of my purpose in this world .Most people whos probably going to see this comment is probably Muttering he hasn’t even seen the real world yet but I had friends who are older then me whos now in the real world whos going through a very confused state of life and as im on my last year of highschool I fear being lost of what I am really meant for . I plan to go to college to make my mother proud but I dont plan on time being consumed and me not aquiring what im meant for. Our generation has really changed because many of us aren’t equipped with the right knowledge we need to make it in life. But then again who really has that knowledge of life. Its pretty weird how in life you grow older to learn so much but you begin to lose all that knowledge as you grow old. There’s so much subject’s I can touch up on but then its the who am I to talk about life ive haven’t even left from my prime years. I just tend to leave life into Gods hands because I know he knows the answers the unclear will grow clear. That is I hope

  • PROPHET OKIJO

    I’m PROPHET OKIJO from Nigeria am 63 years old with 4 children graduated from the mental universe of Indian plant 1981st Was i bought my mental powers and particularism worries me is the mental powers, I help people to solve problems around the world to achieve their goals and dreams in the world, I have another temple, and they are located in India, Ghana, Israel, the Philistines , I am currently in Nigeria was my first temple is because, in case you want to reach me, it is my home address PROPHET OKIJO way Lugard str. Lagos State of Nigeria, or you want to contact me through my personal email (prophetokijofiretemple@gmail.com) Notice that if you have been searching for any kind of spiritual help, for example. Making quick money, promotion of employment, political forces, plant care, looking for children, supernatural powers and more (your destiny lies in your hand) to watch you at the welcome …..

    1.Ritual (making quick money)?

    2.Join the new world Order (ILLUMINATI)

    3.You wish handsome boy or girl of your dreams you find him or her?

    4.ex back (his beloved escaped from you)?

    5.Herbal care?

    6.need their money back?

    7.looking For children?

    8.spiritual problem?

    9.political powers?

    10.need protection?

    Email: prophetokijofiretemple@gmail.com

  • jessica

    Hello my name is Helen Ivan, I’m 25 years old. I was in a sexual relationship with my ex-boyfriend for 5 years, we had rocky start for good 4 years then our relationship grew stronger and we were so happy and even planned to get married until he & my Mum had a blew, Mum called him awful names because he did not have a well-paying job. I did what any partner would and stood by my ex-boyfriend, then he decides to dump me by text and phone telling me that he was hurt by my Mum’s behavior when they had a blew. I was mad when I noticed that he has reconciled with his old time fiance week after the blew with Mum, I don’t want the years that I have spent with him to waste because I knows that he truly love me but my Mum won’t allow us to get married.I contacted Spiritual Doctor named Dr. BALAYA from posts I saw on blogs. This powerful Spiritual Doctor helped me to change the mind of my Mum to like him and also broke the relationship he had with his new fiance. Our feelings are stronger now, he loves and appreciates me. We have now got back to where we were happy, affectionate, passionate, romantic and loving. We will soon get married. I am so happy right now to share Doctor BALAYA email to someone out there that is suffering from heart break, contact him with; doctorbalaya@gmail.com

  • Kirk Apolo

    Wow after reading this blog i feel really good…. i was so tensed an confused, because of people opinon’s about me, its like they were getting on my nerves. I like it when people get together and share views. Great blog, continue the good work!

    Please visit my site: new games

  • StartingOverAndNoClueWhatToDo

    This is quite helpful for me at this time in life….so many questions, confusion, hurt, and heartache, yet this article makes these things evaporate. Perhaps letting go is the answer. I’ve noticed in life that when I stop caring about the thoughts and opinions of others, when I stop ‘trying too damn hard’, things flow and life feels easier. I’ve hit rock bottom…literally; but being alive and well is what I can be thankful for. Career choices, money, people, and life can flow in my direction in the most positive, uplifting, energizing way…and it seems all I have to do is ‘let go’. Bye Bye micro-management of life! Thanks again for this inspiring article. Blessings!

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