“HOLY F–!” I said to myself as I walked out of the meeting room. “I think I just quit my job.”
A week ago, I’d had no idea I’d be doing this. Seriously– not a freaking clue.
In fact, a week ago I’d been out to dinner with a group of girlfriends discussing our plans for the new year.
“I have this really strange feeling that everything about my life is about to change,” I’d told them. “I just have no idea how.”
And now here I found myself just days later, looking my boss in the eye without a hint of nervousness in my voice and without a hint of doubt in my soul. “I’m leaving in April,” I told him.
“It’s not the job or anything,” I said. “The job is great.”
How could I possibly explain it?
That there wasn’t anything I was running from?
That my job– my job was just fine. That my life– my life was just fine, too?
How could I possibly explain that I wasn’t running away from anything, but toward something– that I’d been met with this indescribable need, this inexhaustible passion, this inescapable drive to run– no, sprint, toward the life that was mine and mine alone? Toward that life where just about every action I take– from the time I wake up in the morning to the time I lay my head on my pillow at night– where in every conceivable way, in every moment of my day, I feel as if I am living on purpose?
How could I possibly explain that I’d already experienced the “good life”– and that now it was time for me to run toward the great?
“Is there anything we can do to make you stay?” my director asked me.
It was in this moment that I realized the true extent of my insanity.
“No,” I said.
And I realized that I meant it.
As in, they could have offered me a million dollars and I would have said “no.”
They could have told me that they’d set me up in a beach-freaking-cabana with Brad Pitt for the rest of my life and my answer would have been “no.”
There was nothing at all that could keep me stuck living this life that wasn’t mine. There was nothing at all that could stop me from becoming that person I was meant to become, from living this purpose that I’d found.
I walked out of the meeting room and laughed out loud, chuckled, freaking CACKLED, at the insanity of it all. It was as if I were watching a movie of this completely insane-o chick who was about to leave her entire life behind.
The only thing is, this chick was me.
GOD HOW I LOVE US FREAKING CRAZY PEOPLE!!
* * *
So what am I gonna do now? More to come on this soon– I’m still working out some of the details. (Don’t worry though; I DO have a plan– i.e., I’m not jumping ship without having laid the groundwork and without having fired plenty of pre-cannon bullets.) Oh, and if you want to stay up-to-date on my journey, be sure to join The Monday Club at the bottom of this post. You’ll get free updates each week.
For now, though, soak in this thought here:
Maybe finding your “purpose” doesn’t have to be this big, overwhelming, overarching philosophical question.
Instead, maybe it’s really freaking simple. In fact, maybe it’s as ridiculously simple as asking this one single question:
“Does this make me more of who I am?”
At every turn of your life, whether you’re making a decision as big as marriage or as small as buying a candy bar, try asking yourself that one question.
Our purpose, I believe, is not a thing, place, occupation, title, or even a talent. Our purpose is to be. Our purpose is how we live life, not what role we live. Our purpose is found each moment as we make choices to BE WHO WE REALLY ARE.
- Carol Adrienne
“Does this make me more of who I really am?”
Am I feeling joy? Am I feeling deep commitment? Am I being the real me? In this moment, am I living in alignment with my truest self?
If you can answer with a “yes,” then I’d venture to say that you are already living your purpose.
And if the answer is a “no,” then ask yourself what needs to change– either within you, within your situation, or both– in order for your answer to change.
I asked myself this question until it led me here.
Most people think my decision is crazy, but you know what I’ve come to realize?
I’ve come to realize that I’d be f***ing crazy not to do what I’m doing.
Because sometimes what appears to be insanity to the rest of the world– sometimes it’s in fact complete, unmistakable, full-on clarity.
When I wake up every day, I want to be able to say that I’m showing up fully in this world as myself. I want to be able to say that in every second of my life, in every possible way, I am living and breathing and becoming that person who I’m meant to become.
When I wake up each morning, I want to be able to say that I’m on purpose.
How about you?
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[Image by Anirudh Koul]