This Myth About Finding Your Career Path is Gone… And This Truth Has Taken Its Place

Posted by Therese on January 9, 2012 • 13 comments
<i>This Myth</i> About Finding Your Career Path is Gone… And <i>This Truth</i> Has Taken Its Place

You don’t know what you want to “be when you grow up”— but you think that you should.

You don’t want to continue down the soulless path you’re on— the corporate ladder, the unsatisfying job that pays the bills, the [fill-in-the-blank-here]— but you think that you should.

Should, should, should.

What if I told you something today that could change your life forever?

What if I told you that the “should” is a myth?

What if I told you the problem is NOT that we don’t have it all figured out…

Instead, it’s that we think we SHOULD have it all figured out. The problem is that there’s this ridiculous expectation, this insane belief, this PREPOSTEROUS idea that we should know it all (thus the horrible affliction of the soul, shoulditis).

Enter the ultimate cure for shoulditis: the knowcation.

THE CURE FOR SHOULDITIS: TAKE A KNOWCATION

What’s a knowcation?

It’s a vacation from needing to know.

It’s a vacation from expectation.

It’s a period of time where you allow yourself to ask questions, to explore and to discover that deep well of thick, bubbling awesomesauce that lies within you.

The way I see it, the knowcation should be a required, or at least widely accepted, period of our lives. It ought to be the norm, the standard, the expected.

What if instead of sending their kids off to college after high school, parents sent their kids off on “knowcations?”

“Bye bye, Johnny! Have fun on your knowcation!”

And off Johnny goes into the world— off he goes to find himself.

Imagine a world where the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” is replaced by “What have you learned about yourself during your knowcation, son?”

This is the kind of world I want to live in one day.

. . .

Not until we are lost do we begin to find ourselves.

– Henry David Thoreau

. . .

Ask yourself this, guys:

Why do we have this strange compulsion to know, to be certain? What’s the worst that could happen if we let go of needing to know all the answers?

Before taking my very first knowcation back in 2007, I came to a shocking realization:

“… My life wasn’t going to end if I didn’t know all the answers. I wasn’t going to fall off the edge of the earth or get eaten by a pack of bloodthirsty wolves. My Myspace page wasn’t going to get unexpectedly deleted. (Yes; I said Myspace— this was 2007, people.)

The only thing that would happen is that I wouldn’t have it all figured out— which I already didn’t anyhow.”

That’s it, guys. We aren’t going to die if we don’t have shit figured out. Our lives are not gonna come to an end.

The only thing that will happen is that we won’t have it all figured out for awhile (which we already don’t anyhow).

Is there anything inherently wrong with that?

. . .

The real trick to life is not to be in the know, but to be in the mystery.

- Fred Wolf

. . .

Now, to be clear: the point of the knowcation is not just to float around and stay lost forever. During my very first knowcation, I’m afraid that this was where I didn’t get things quite right. I did a brilliant job letting go of my need to know— but I failed to realize that I was only executing on only one-half of the equation.

If we actually want to get anywhere, we’ve also got to take targeted actions toward finding ourselves and our vocations. We’ve got to take targeted actions that address the two problems I described in Part I of the guide:

- Address the “one-shot internet shopping dilemma” by looking externally: Fire small bullets (& try on inexpensive jackets) to gain experience BEFORE making one big commitment to a career choice or a career move (rather than firing one big cannon and “losing it all”). I’ll show you how to do this (hint: you can do it even if you currently have a full time job).

- Address the “dilemma of the nonexistent jacket” by looking internally: Learn how to evaluate the outer experience that comes from firing bullets (“trying on jackets”) by looking within yourself. Learn to listen deeply to your life in order to hear that voice that is yours alone, and allow this to guide you toward that person you were meant to become. Discover that one-of-a-kind jacket that can’t be found in any store.

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to drop out of school or quit your job to take a knowcation (although you can if you want to). You don’t have to leave everything behind and take off for some foreign country (although, again, you can if you want to). There are infinite ways to take a knowcation, and only you can determine the knowcation that’s right for you.

Want to know more? Check out The Unlost Guide to Finding Your Career & Life Path (an interactive e-course).

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[Image by Giorgio Bagnarelli]

How do you discover the fulfilling, meaningful, passionate work you were built to do?

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  • Chuck

    Therese, great advice for some older folks who think they have to have everything figured out before they can get moving. Have a great week. Catch you next Monday.
    Your older friend
    Chuck

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      Glad to hear, Chuck. Have a great week!

  • http://twitter.com/wanderinglizzie Elizabeth Hudson

    I am so looking forward to your 2012 plan! I wholeheartedly agree with all of this. I didn’t know any of this when I quit my job in October and moved out of the city, but it happened just the same. It’s terrifying every time I look at my bank account, but I now know myself more than I ever have. And that’s better than knowing which path I should be on. I’m so excited to see what happens in 2012 :)

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      Interested to hear YOUR story now! :)

  • http://www.simplemindfulness.com/ Paige | simple mindfulness

    When I was 28 (I’m 44 now) I took a knowcation. I had been in a “good” corporate job in public accounting for 7 years, quickly climbing the ladder. Becoming partner was the next step (and I was being “actively groomed” for it). But at that point I began to ask, “Is this all there is to life?” I certainly hoped the answer was no and I set out to find out. I quit my job with a little money in the bank. I put most of my stuff in storage and fit what I could in my Jeep and headed west, following my intuition which said, “Go west and do something with horses.” When I asked my intuition, “Where west and what with horses?” the reply I got was, “You go figure it out.” And off I went.

    I did the shotgun approach that you advise (that I would advise too). Being a city girl my whole life (I was leaving Boston at the time), of course it made perfect sense for me to go to outfitting school outside of Jackson Hole, WY to learn how to live in the woods, hunting and camping. Totally out of my comfort zone but one of the best experiences of my life. I learned all new levels of self-sufficiency. Next I managed a dude ranch in Colorado, worked with a horse trainer starting green horses, worked at CSU’s equine reproduction lab learning how to breed horses, managed a horse ranch with show horses in CA.

    Two years later (and never needing all the stuff I packed in my Jeep) I went back into the corporate world in CO but in a way that worked for me. I’m good at the finance/accounting thing but it doesn’t light my fire. For the past 12 years I’ve lived with my family (husband & 3 little kids) on 20 acres in the mountains of Colorado, working from home most of the time (working for small and mid-sized companies). We have horses and other animals and I get to wake up to beautiful views of Pikes Peak. Last year I started a blog to help people find more happiness in their lives and this will start producing an additional income stream this year.

    Whatever choice you make is not forever. You can change it whenever you want. And you’ll want to as the years pass. Forget what other people think and expect. They have their own lives to live. Live yours. REALLY live yours.

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      What a cool story, Paige! Not many people are willing to leave things behind when they get far enough into their jobs– but sometimes you just know that “there’s got to be more than this.” Think of how different your life would be today had you never had the courage to listen to your own “voice.” About really LIVING your own life– couldn’t agree more :)

  • http://www.wevecreatedamonster.com/ Kevin Bates

    I absolutely fucking love this post.

    It’s been three years since I’ve had a job, commute, or woken up to an alarm that wasn’t for an early flight to somewhere awesome.

    What makes me so flippin’ special? Nothing.

    I just had the vegetables to do what I “shouldn’t” have done: I quit a fancy-pants tech job in silicon valley, gave up my shiny truck and gadgets, and moved to Costa Rica for a while to work as a freelancer.

    I had no idea what was going to happen. And it was invigorating.

    Friends and family all thought I was bonkers (I suppose the jury is still out on that) and even after 3 years lecture me on “job security.”

    I’m more interested in “life security.”

    Anyhow. I completely agree with you that people don’t have to quit jobs and sell all their goodies in search of personal growth (although it’s freaking liberating).

    The flip side- most people are capable of more than they choose to accept.

    Whatever the case, I’m certain people will appreciate your insight.

    Aloha,

    Kevin

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      So cool, Kevin! Yes– most people are capable of MUCH more than they realize. I’m all for quitting jobs and selling your crap IF you’re in the right position to do so (and a lot of factors go into that “if” evaluation, which will vary from person to person). Taking a big leap is not right for everyone… that being said, for others it absolutely is. I’ll write more about my thoughts on this soon :)

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  • http://stutteringhub.com/ Hiten Vyas

    ‘A vacation from needing to know’.

    I loved this.

    Meditation has helped me a lot with this. By training myself to be in the present moment more often, my need to know has lessened a lot. It’s a really cool state of consciousness – just being.

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      Agreed– “just being” in the present moment is what it’s all about.

  • http://www.2knowmyself.com/ Farouk

    hahah sounds good
    i also need a vacation from needing to think, that would be even better :)

    • http://www.theunlost.com Therese

      A thinkation? ;-)