I know, I know– you want to punch me in the face right now.
“Losing my boyfriend/girlfriend/job/(fill-in-the-blank) is the absolute WORST thing that’s ever happened to me!” you want to shout.
You want to cry and lament and sob. You want to tell me how much I suck for even daring to suggest such a thing.
And you know what? That’s OK. You’re right– losing stuff sucks balls. It’s not fun; in fact, it’s super, super crappy.
I know this, guys. I’m not dumb.
But I also know something else: I know that, if you let it, sometimes it can turn into the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
Allow me to explain.
* * *
When you look at your life right now, what do you see?
Chances are that you see a big, huge void– an empty space; nothing where there once was something. Right now, all you can focus on is what’s missing.
After my last relationship, I knew this void. My nights and mornings were empty– there was no daily phone call, no kiss goodbye, no knowing smile. The space on my couch where he’d once sat beside me– this space was empty. My heart– it was empty, too. It had a hole in it, a void that he’d once filled. All I could see was the absence of what once had been there.
Other times, too, I’ve known this void. I knew it when my friend passed away this past February. I knew it when, as a high schooler, I could hardly walk across a room.
For awhile, life was a hole.
But this hole– if you let it, it can turn into a whole.
If you don’t just shut the pain out– if you don’t just run away– if you’re strong enough to let it break you to your core, a funny thing happens:
You end up finding much more than you lost.
It doesn’t matter what it is that you’ve lost or let go of– it could be your possessions or your relationship or, God forbid, it could be your health. It could be your sense of security or your need to know or your need to prove yourself. But whatever it is that you’ve lost, you can find yourself here, in the emptiness that it’s left behind.
Because when things go missing, they leave more than just a hole: they leave space. They leave space for something bigger and something stronger and something deeper to emerge. They leave room for faith to cultivate and grow. If you allow yourself to stay in that space that’s left behind, you just might come to find a sense of wholeness, a sense of self, a sense of faith, that you hadn’t known before.
And in this moment of broken wholeness– in this moment of bittersweet gratitude and painful joy, you cannot help but wonder:
Is there anything better than this?
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[Image by fazen]